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CHW 8, MIN 2: Inning Of Shame

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Pitching/defense did the "Yakety Sax" thing for one inning, and Minnesota ain't more playoff-bound today.

The appropriate music for this walk is right below.
The appropriate music for this walk is right below.
Jon Durr/Getty Images

Cue Vince Guaraldi Charlie Brown music:

After a strong first turn through the lineup, pitcher X got his brains beat out. Why pitcher X? Because it didn't just happen to Tommy Milone today; it happened to Rangers starter Yovani Gallardo, too. Minnesota is still stuck out of the wildcard one game behind Texas. And will lose every game for the next 100 years, thanks to a really shoddy inning.

2B, 1B, 1B, wild throw on sac bunt, 2B, 1B, sac fly, flyout, BB. New pitcher Blaine Boyer. Stolen base, 1B, wild throw on pickoff attempt. If you're paying attention, and why the fart should you be, that's seven runs.

The Twins offense was already looking dead today, scoring twice in the first thanks to an error and passed gas. After that, nuthin'. So a 7-run inning spelled Their Doom. Briefly forgetting they were Doomed, the Twins loaded much bases late and then Escobar remembered Doom and GIDP-ed on a first pitch.

Scream all you want for Milone to get replaced when Phil Hughes returns (scheduled for Tuesday as of now) but, let's be honest, every Twins pitcher is capable of sucking this hard on any given day. Their best starter might be May and there's nobody available in the bullpen to replace him. So we'll see what the Twins decide; my guess is six-man rotation until someone stinks two starts in a row or the team falls out of playoff contention. Only 28 games left.

Ex-Twin David Ortiz hit his 500th HR today. I'm happy for him, he's a cool guy. However, Sano hit a longer bomb in the same ballpark, as you know. Stupid roof!

Tune in tomorrow, for Gibson versus mega-good pitcher Chris Sale. Sale is apparently nicknamed "The Condor" and this is apparently due to the posters at South Side Sox. So it says here. If true, why haven't we nicknamed anybody yet?

Robot Roll Call:

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