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Scenes from a NOT season, Volume 6

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When it's on-season, you're playing baseball. When it's off-season, you're thinking about playing baseball. When you're a fired manager with no new job? It's a NOT-season.

Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

SCENE: Gardenhire family den/office, late at night. RON GARDENHIRE is sitting on the couch eating directly out of a bag of double butter popcorn (don't worry, it's popped). The room is dark except the glow of the TV screen. Gardy is watching the MLB network.

RON GARDENHIRE: *Sigh *

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SCENE: Gardenhire family backyard. RON GARDENHIRE is sitting in his backyard shed. It's one of those large plastic ones from Cost Co. Gardy has a lot of stuff in his shed so he's actually sitting about half in the shed and half out of the shed. He looks down, then looks up into the sky with a tear in his eye.

RON GARDENHIRE: *Sigh *

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SCENE: Gardenhire family garage. RON GARDENHIRE  is sitting in a lawn chair staring at the wall.

RON GARDENHIRE: ....

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SCENE: Gardenhire  family basement. It's unfinished and full of boxes of junk. RON GARDENHIRE brought his lawn chair down there to sit and think. He's lighting a cigar to help him think.

RON GARDENHIRE: ....

Suddenly, Gardenhire gets up and starts throwing things. Boxes of things in his basement. Papers and baseball equipment go flying. Ron does not give a shit. He throws things for a few more seconds, and then he collapses sobbing on the floor. He curls up in a ball, hugging his legs, the broken shell of a man.