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MIN 3, HOU 2: Hold On To Yer Butts

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1.5 GB from the wildcard, with almost a month left, the Twins win a must-win game that they had to win or should never have bothered trying to win anything again. #WinnersWin

It's Texas; check that dirt for residual oil.
It's Texas; check that dirt for residual oil.
Eric Christian Smith/Getty Images

Well, that was fun.

Ervin Santana's creepy pharmacist pitch control stymied the Astros tonight. It looked like rookie pitcher Lance McCullers was doing same same to the Twins, because the Twins suck and always lose tight games because they suck.

Santana had eleven strikeouts! In eight full innings! This is cool. It's also maddening. since Santana's blood content control/effectiveness seems to be so variable. It's like either he's horr-or-terr ific. I guess we need to prepare for two more years of this. Yippee!

This game was decided by Battle Of The Usually Pretty Good Bullpen Guys. Tied late. Luke Gregerson gave up an eighth-inning, two-run triple to "you're nothing now, for we have moved on to more succulent young flesh" Eddie Rosario. Kevin "Traded" Jepsen promptly allowed a Jed (yes, "Jed") Lowrie HR and loaded the bases with two outs.

Super-guy Jose Altuve "lined out sharply" (per to Byron Buxton (who actually had a hit tonight.) Buxton dived and rolled to catch it. He probably didn't need to dive and roll, but I'll never fault someone for style. Link to highlight clip here, no embed because MLB hates us.

Tune in tomorrow at 1:10 for young, erratic curveballer Tyler Duffey against very tough Dallas Keuchel. Keep hope alive! And "The Baseball Project," because why not, I never thought games would matter this late in the year. Rules of normal blog logic = tossed out the window and left to die.

Robot Roll Call:

# Commenter # Comments
1 NoahRJ 76
2 SooFoo Fan 35
3 less cowbell, more 'neau 32
4 Brandon Brooks 27
6 wayback 15
7 kenzertz 9
8 Hayden A 6
9 The GIF Oracle 4
10 Nachiket Krishnamurti 3
11 whiskeyplz 3
12 gintzer 1
13 Caleb A 1
14 twinssdfan 1
15 pdx_twins_fan 1
16 West Coast Golden Gopher! 1