The Twins are having something of a down year. In fact, they were mathematically eliminated from winning the division at the end of August.
Despite this, local fan Tim Lastname has been optimistic about the Twins chances.
However, the last two months of 18-39 baseball have soured Tim’s spirits. “It’s time to start accepting some hard truths: They suck. ”, said Tim as he poured a shot of whiskey. “The pitching sucks, their only good hitter is Brian Dozier, and Grossman fields as well as my aunt Helen.”
The Twins 15-11 July led some to believe that maybe the worst was over, and that the team could avoid 100, or even 90 losses. Nope.
“The whole thing went to shit. The calendar flipped to August and it was just like we were back in April again.” Tim sat down at his desk, and powered on his Windows Vista PC. (“It works for me!”) .
“Hey, would ya look at that, they won a game!” Tim laughed. “I can’t help but smile when the White Sox lose...”