What if the Minnesota Twins... were dogs?

Tonight begins the group judging at the 139th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show—the second longest continuous sporting event in America (after the Kentucky Derby), the largest dog show in America, and one of the largest dog shows in the world. It's a BIG DEAL. I will be live tweeting it tonight from my couch (because of course I'll be live tweeting it tonight from my couch).

In celebration of this 139th dog showing event, I fed some pictures of Twins players through What-Dog.net. What's What-Dog.net? What-Dog.net is a website that is supposed to detect what breed a dog in a picture is, except people have just been submitting photos of themselves to see what kind of dog breed they are detected as. Basically just some good, wholesome, internet fun.

Here's what What-Dog.net found out about our hometown team:

Joe Mauer: Doberman Pincher

Wow, not my first guess. You might think Joe would be detected as a Golden Retriever, Cocker Spaniel, or Poodle-type breed, but nope! The "intelligent" indicator definitely fits but not sure about the others. Perhaps there is more to Joe Mauer than you know?

Paul Molitor: Irish Water Spaniel

Now this is something I really see. Smart, agreeable, and Molly does look pretty water repellent. If you just compare the picture of the dog to Molly I think you'll understand what I am talking about. Good match.

Byron Buxton: Irish Setter

I really don't know enough about Buxton's personality at this point to tell how accurate this is, but it sounds like it could be accurate. I mean, how could Buxton NOT be one hell of a jogging partner?

Eddie Guardado: Golden Retriever

This is perfect. You can't read that description and NOT think "Eddie Guardado." Period.

Chad Allen: German Shepherd

Once again, hit the nail on its head. Please, no one, don't let Chad Allen get bored. You do NOT want to see Chad Allen when he gets bored!

Miguel Sano: Dogue de Bordeaux

Holy crap.

Eduardo Nunez: Bluetick Coonhound

I honestly don't know how much Nunez uses his nose or how loud he is, but I think the dog looks a lot like Nunez so I am totally buying this one hook, line, and sinker.

Trevor Plouffe: Labrador Retriever

This is so predictable and vanilla I don't even want to put it on here. No offense to Trevor Plouffe, who is a fine player, but he truly is the Labrador Retriever of players (and a Labrador Retriever is a fine dog, but, you know, not very exciting). Spot on.

Doug Mientkiewicz: Brussels Griffon

This is as good as it gets.

___________________________________________________________________________

Do you think these descriptions are accurate? Who will you be cheering for tonight at Westminster? Do you think myjah is just completely crazy? Leave a comment below!