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Are Ariana Grande and Drew Butera Related? A TWINKIE TOWN INVESTIGATION (UPDATED)

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The most important thing to ever appear on this website, or the Internet.

i'm just asking questions
i'm just asking questions
Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

Drew Butera is a journeyman backup catcher who had a glorious run as Carl Pavano's personal battery mate for the Minnesota Twins, is a singularly wretched hitter, and won a World Series with the Kansas City Royals last year.

Ariana Grande is a pop star, an actress, and once got in trouble for licking a donut that wasn't hers.

You'd think, besides similar OPS numbers, that they'd have nothing in common.

However.

While researching the electronic music act Major Lazer for the sports podcast I co-host, I noticed that they'd collaborated with Ariana Grande.  Only she wasn't referred to as Ariana Grande.  Look at the writing credits on the album.  LOOK AT THEM.

"Ariana Grande-Butera."

A quick check of her Wikipedia notes that is her birth name, and her father's name is Edward Butera.  Nothing weird about that.

However.

Glance at Drew Butera's Wikipedia entry.  Look at his middle name.  LOOK AT IT.

"Edward."

Holy moly.  Did Drew's father Sal give his son that middle name because he's related to Edward Butera.  Might they, in fact, be brothers?

So, I kept digging.

Sal was born in Richmond Hill, New York, in 1952.  Edward was born in Maplewood, New Jersey, in 1958.  Edward doesn't have a Wiki page, but he does have an entry in the Ariana Grande wiki, which is probably your best source for Ariana Grande facts (not rumors or gossip, this isn't TMZ you savages) on the web.

Would it surprise you to learn that these neighborhoods are a mere 33 miles apart?  The Buteras could have easily moved from the city (Richmond Hill is in Queens) to the Jersey suburbs between Sal and Edward's births.

This is where my investigation reached an impasse.  No Googling or records searches could confirm any further connection between the beloved catcher who simply cannot hit a baseball and the singer of  2015's unstoppable banger, "Focus"

So, I was left with no choice.

As of this writing, he has not responded.  We will update as the situation warrants.

UPDATE: Tremendous internet find by community member colossusofrhode:

It is my opinion, given the UNDENIABLE FACTS available to us, that Ariana Grande and Drew Butera are first cousins, and have probably spent time together over the holidays or at family functions.  Again, we will update as the situation warrants.