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Metaphors for Miguel Sano's First Two Games in Right Field

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It's a work in progress, is the joke here.

i still love you miguel
i still love you miguel
Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

  • Just like the first act of a Chris Farley movie.
  • Every overconfident dad who sees his kid doing some sort of physical activity and says, "OK, now let's see how an expert does it."
  • Sort of like Delmon Young.
  • Sort of like if Josh Willingham and Jason Kubel had a hesitant, out-of-position baby.
  • Eddie the Eagle 2: Play It Shallow
  • Lost in a haunted corn maze.
  • Under the influence of a Freaky Friday/body switch scenario and the new guy is still figuring out the body.
  • Not unlike a guy trying to move a trundle bed by himself up a spiral staircase while being chased by mean dogs.
  • Damn Terry, back at it again with the odd off-season move that seems destined to backfire.
  • Really, he looks like he's trying to learn a complicated dance move before the big talent show only his rehearsals are actually the talent show and it's a living nightmare.
  • Using witchcraft that is more powerful than they can possibly imagine, moody, slugger-controlling teens have hijacked Miguel Sano.
  • Like he's not a very good outfielder yet.  (This one needs work.)
  • Extreme sports obstacle course that only he can see and the ropes course is giving him fits.
  • Slipped a mickey but is going to power through, goddammit.