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Game V: Twins @ Royals

The Twins are in full "sell mode" and will probably forfeit all remaining 2016 games before the third inning.

Milone hiding his patented "lizard-mutant forked-tongue spitball pitch."
Milone hiding his patented "lizard-mutant forked-tongue spitball pitch."
Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Time: 6:15 (00:15 GMT). Vegas Line: KC -130/+120 MIN

Weather: Perfect, 65, They Get All The Nice Things

Opponent SB Site: Royals Review

TV: FS-N. Radio: The Majority Of Radio Listeners Thought Nixon Won That Debate

I test your mettle: do you remember why the name Ian Kennedy sounds familiar?

If you replied "wasn't he one of 20,000 guys rumored to be in the Johan Santana trade," your answer is correct; noble beasts and well-behaved children inherently trust you. If you answered, "sure, I've followed his career with the Diamondbacks & Padres," you are a vicious liar and even your therapist is considering suicide rather than listen to your bulls**t one more time.

Amusingly, part of the Yankess/Santana rumors involved Phil Hughes. According to urban legend, Yankees were fine with dealing Hughes but balked on including Kennedy, who back in the day was often compared to Greg Maddux. That was a stretch, but he's had a Hughes-like career since. I was going to do a chart until my keyboard died and I had to finish this on my phone, so here are some bbref links for the interested:


Twins (0-162)*

Royals (108-54)*
Brian Dozier, 2B Alcides Escobar, SS
Danny Santana, CF Mike Moustakas, 3B
Joe Mauer, 1B Lorenzo's Oil, CF
Ploooooooofe, 3B Eric Hosmer, 1B
Oswaldo Arcia, RF Kendrys Morales, DH
ByungHo Park, DH Alex Gordon, LF
Eduardo Escobar, SS Salvador Perez, C
Eddie Rosario, LF Omar Infante, 2B
Kurt Suzuki, C Paulo Orlando, RF

(* -- projected)

Your favorite gritty, soft-tossing lefty, Tommy Milone, goes up against Kennedy. I'm off to find a working 'puter, and we'll celebrate a Twins win later tonight!