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Game IVII: Blue Jays @ Twins

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Let the colossal suckitude wash over you in a happy wave of pathetic bliss.

Jorge Polanco wearing red, the big commie rat.
Jorge Polanco wearing red, the big commie rat.
Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports
Time: 1:10 (19:10 GMT.) Vegas Line: -175 TOR / MIN +160
Weather: Dog-gone Purr-fect!
Opponent SB site: Bluebird Banter (And you thought "TwinkieTown" was a lame name)
TV: FSN. Radio: Sheboygan Is Also The Name Of An Actual Town

The season is saved! Pat Dean will be starting today, on the heels of his inspiring "my God, what breathing bodies can we run out there" performance last Monday in relief of flameout Jose Berrios. His "mound opponent" (words that somehow sound dirty even though they isn't) will be J.A. Happ, who throws the requisite four pitches without great oomph but gets a few strikeouts anyway. Digits:

ERA H/9 K/9 BB/9 HR/9 OPS v L/R BAbip FIP
Dean (2015 AAA) 3.13 9.1
5.0
1.9
0.63
.601/.741
.293 3.74
J. A. Abrams Happ 3.40 8.9 5.7 2.5 1.1 .570/.781 .293 4.38

As the perceptive among you may have deduced from these compelling numbers, Happ is lefthanded! I can't remember the last time the Twins faced a lefthanded starter. Unless it was recently and I forgot. Happ was born in Peru, Illinois, which is a great name and appears to be the single dullest place on Earth.

Lineups:

Many Away Fans Quieter Home Fans
Jose Bautista, RF
Brian Dozier, 2B
Josh Donaldson, 3B Eduardo Nunez, SS
Edwin Encarnacion, DH Miguel Sano, DH
Justin Smoak, 1B Trevor Plouffe, 3B
Troy Tulowitzki, SS Byung Ho Park, 1B
Michael Saunders, LF Rex Grossman, LF
Russell Martin, C Marcello Mastroianni, RF
Kevin Pillar, CF Kurt Suzuki, C
Darwin Barney, 2B
Danny Santana, CF