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Kent Hrbek comes out of retirement

He just wants to help.

Kansas City Royals v Minnesota Twins. Kent Hrbek fist bumps Joe Mauer. This is cool.
I'm coming for your job, Mauer.
Photo by Genevieve Ross/Getty Images

Saturday, May 21st, 2016. Twins GM Terry Ryan sits at the desk in his office. He glances at the "Running a Baseball Team: For Dummies" book that Ron Gardenhire gave him.

A knock is heard at the door...

Terry Ryan scrambles to organize his desk, stashing a David Murphy voodoo doll in a drawer.

Terry Ryan: Come in!

Former Twins first baseman, Kent Hrbek, prances through the door.

TR: Well if it isn't Kent Hrbek! What can I do ya for, Kent?

Kent Hrbek thinks of a joke, but decides to save it. This is more important.

KH: Well Terry, you know how the Twins suck this year?

TR: Uh, yeah, sure.

KH: I've been thinking, "What have I done lately to help the Twins?"

TR: Kent, you're a legend in Twins territory, you don't have to do anything more.

KH: No, no, no, I think I can do more. Terry, I'm coming out of retirement.

Terry Ryan senses he should be surprised by this, but having seen everything this year, really is not.

TR: Now, Kent, don't be ridiculous, you're 56 years old now... Happy Birthday by the way... and um, not in baseball shape, to put it bluntly.

KH: Thanks, and I thought you might say that, so I brought this.

Terry Ryan looks at Hrbek's phone. A video is being played. Kent Hrbek is playing baseball with some kids at a local baseball park. He hits one over the fence and starts trotting around the bases.

KH: I still got it.

Terry Ryan rubs his forehead with his hand.

TR: Kent, this is great and all, but even if you did come back what position would you play? First base and DH are clogged up.

KH: Huh, well, maybe you're right. I'll be back in a couple years when Joe Joe's contract is up.

TR: See you then, Herbie...

Kent Hrbek exits.

Terry Ryan grabs the "Running a Baseball Team: For Dummies" book and flips to the bookmarked page 34 and begins to read.