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Twins 5, Blue Jays 3: Late Rally Looms Radically

Eight Twins bat in the eighth inning. Pat Dean does not give up seven runs in the first. And on my beer run the liquor store employees were singing along with "To All The Girls I've Loved Before" on the radio. Nice.

Manscape this, you wussy Canadians
Manscape this, you wussy Canadians
Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports

This game was pretty much a giant snoozer until the end. I was in the car when J.A. Happ walked Darin Mastroianni -- for the SECOND TIME -- and thought, "well, that's bloody ridiculous." It put the tying run on first, and after Kurt Suzuki badminton-lobbed a bunt attempt right back to Happ, Danny Santana proved that WALKS WILL HAUNT.

Sorry, that's not the Santana game-tying double, this is. But that's still a cool catch, yes? Yes. A Brian Dozier HBP and "Thunderstick" Eduardo Nunez homer later, your Twins would take the lead for good. (Sure, Kevin Jepsen tried to give some of the lead back. Stop being mean to him. Unless he gives up one big fly per appearance, infamous gangster Armando "Cuddles" Benzano will cut off his pinky toes. He has no choice!)

Pat Dean (who, unlike Jimmie Dean, has never appeared in a Bond film) had a pretty good outing against a pretty good lineup: box. He's probably won himself at least one more start. He seems like something of a Scott Diamond type to me, but hey, I'll take it.

Be sure and check out several fine TT birthday posts celebrating the merriment and girth mirth of Kent Hrbek! Robot Roll Call:

# Commenter # Comments
1 WestRiverTwinsFan 24
2 SooFoo Fan 16
3 Nick Rothe 15
4 Daniel Carlson 14
5 Real_Julio_Iglesias 14
6 less cowbell, more 'neau 7
7 Hayden A 5
8 Imakesandwichesforaliving 5
9 b1 5
10 kenzertz 4
11 sioux1337 3
12 gintzer 3
13 Name-Game 2
14 TawnyFroggy 1
15 Devereaux 1
16 mefoolonhill 1
17 Asthix 1