Ok. Who ever did it, confess. Somebody out there in Twins Territory blew this one. After Chris Sale threw 36 pitches in the first inning and forced in two runs (HBP, BB), you turned to your friend, or true love, or pet iguana (or all three) and said, "I think the Twins might have a chance today."
THANKS YOU JERK
Sale had also hit Byung Ho Park and he was replaced by Mauer on defense. (Diagnosis? Knee contusion, day-to-day.) Ervin Santana muddled through the first inning, but had virtually no control. Kurt Suzuki got whacked by a ball/bat and left a few innings later (upper body tightness, day-to-day.) Santana finally imploded in the fourth, yet new callup Brandon Kintzler managed to plug the hull hole and Minnesota only trailed 3-2.
Then the bullpen happened (today's guilty party, Ryan Pressly.) And Twins bats never knocked in a run (shocked, are ya? ARE YA?), never even got a guy to second after the first inning except on one Jorge Polanco double (promptly erased by a Polanco baserunning gaffe.) Minnesota struck out 12 times (9 from Sale), and Darin Mastroianni did not hit the large dingers many expected. I bring you The Pain:
Tomorrow's visitation from Baseball Hell features incubus Tyler Duffey against succubus Jose Quintana. We'll see you there, as punishment for the chains of sin you forged in earthly life. Robot Roll Call:
|5||less cowbell, more 'neau||34|
|17||Bloopers and Practical Jokes||1|