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Game DCLXVI: Yankees vs Twins

Ringwraiths, goblins and orcs invade Minas Ota. The battle begins.

"I knew we should've turned left at Albuquerque!"
"I knew we should've turned left at Albuquerque!"
Dan Kitwood/Getty Images

First Pitch: 7:10PM CT

TV: FSN, All-Seeing Eye of Sauron

Radio: Go 96.3 FM, Moths, Ravens

Weather Forecast: 80°F partly cloudy

Know Thine Enemy: Pinstripe Alley

In a dugout in the ground, there lived the Twins. Not a dirty, nasty, wet dugout filled with worm ends and oozing sewage; it was a Target Field dugout and that means comfort. This particular dugout belonged to the Minnesota Twins. They were, for a time, a respected team; perennial underdogs who played baseball the right way and grittily battled their tails off and who seemed to always be in the midst of a playoff chase when they played under Gardenhire the Gray...

These orcs aren't the Uruk-hai and Nazgul that were the Mordor's Row in the Gardy era, this year's Yankees are bouncing around the bottom of the AL East. This might be good news, except the Twins have done abysmally bad this year too. Timing is everything.

Twins will face a familiar troll, CC Sabathia (LHP, 4-4, 2.28 ERA) who threw seven shut-out innings against the Tigers his last game. Pitching for the Fellowship of the Two Rings will be level 1 wood elf, Kyle Gibson (RHP, 0-4, 6.49 ERA). Kyle gave up five runs, seven hits, and two walks in his last outing against the Red Sawx.

Let's go, Twins! You have my sword...


Today's Lineups


Jagoblyn Ellsbury - CF
Elfwine Nunez - 3B

Brett Darkrider - LF
Robbie Greatfeets - LF

Carlos Beltroll - RF
Berrifoot Dozier - 2B

Alex Trollriguez - DH
Pippen Plouffe - DH

Brian OrCann - C
Bungo Park - 1B

Starlin Castroll - 2B
Elrond Escobar - SS

Didi Greygoblin - SS
Samwise Kepler - RF

Chase Hagluk - 3B
Kurt Smallburrow - C

Orc Davis - 1B
Bilbo Buxton - CF
CC Sabalrogthia - LHP Kyle Gimbley - RHP


Why are the orcs and goblins in the photo holding plastic cups?

This poll is closed

  • 9%
    They are small tankards carved from hobbit skulls
    (2 votes)
  • 9%
    Those are flagons made from oliphant tusks
    (2 votes)
  • 33%
    "Talk to our union rep, Mr. Picky-pants"
    (7 votes)
  • 47%
    They were thirsty
    (10 votes)
21 votes total Vote Now