Meet the New Loss/Same As the Old Loss: Yankees Throttle Twins, 8-2

Over the last decade and a half, the Yankees have made a habit of owning the shit out of your Minnesota Twins. While only Alex Rodriguez and Joe Mauer remain from those halcyon beatdowns, the punishing losses continue, as New York boatraced the Twins yet again Friday night, this time by a score of 8-2.

In a phrase that can't possibly be true yet is, the rotation's stopper, Pat Dean, was on the mound. And when Minnesota took their first at-bat, they were already down 4-0. Fortunately, it got worse, as Dean didn't make it out of the third inning.  By then it was 7-1, and you stopped reading two sentences back.

Studs:

• Masahiro Tanaka. 8 innings, 1 earned run, 5 Ks, 0 BBs.  That's good.
• ED. 3-4 with a solo dongle in the 9th.

Duds:

• All the other Twins.

Also, the dude from P. M. Dawn passed away, which sucks.

ROBOT ROLL CALL

CHARTS & GRAPHS

Source: FanGraphs

Enjoy your weekend, everybody.