Terry Ryan Offers to Help Move Ervin Santana’s Stuff If You Will Trade for Him

As the All-Star break nears and the Twins' status as sellers is cemented, the lack of suitors for the team's available players is evident. That's why Minnesota GM Terry Ryan has sweetened the deal considerably.

"We will help you move Ervin Santana's stuff. Every last piece of furniture, no questions asked."

Santana, coming off a brilliant 2-hit shutout on Wednesday, is thought to be the most attractive piece for teams looking to add starting pitching help. But so far, no one is biting.

"The phones aren't ringing off the hook, I'll say that much," said Ryan.  "But we've got a lot of strapping young men in this clubhouse, and they're not afraid of some hard work."

Ryan added that the team will guarantee all of Santana's items would be moved safely.

"If something breaks, we'll give it some time to see if it's really broken, let it rest up a bit. If it really is busted up, then we'll replace it. On us. It's the Twins way."

While the offer is currently exclusive to Santana, Ryan said they're willing to negotiate with other players.

"Say a team wants a veteran corner infielder, but the only flight connects out of Denver, has a five-hour layover, and costs $1200. We'll go halfsies. Or we can have one of the clubbies just drive him there. I've got some gas coupons for the Holiday station by Target Field, so that first fill is gonna be pretty cheap."

Ryan joked that he would even pitch in and help any potential move, with one exception.

"These old bones still have some use in ‘em," said Ryan. "No hide-a-beds, though. Those things are murder."