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Game XLLLVII: Twins @ Rangers

Kyle Lohse makes his first MLB start of this season, against Joe Mauer and 24 guys he doesn't know.

After being named co-recipients of the Billy Martin Lifetime Calmness Award.
After being named co-recipients of the Billy Martin Lifetime Calmness Award.
Benny Sieu-USA TODAY Sports
Time: 8:05 (01:05 GMT) Vegas Line: -118 TEX / MIN +108
Weather: Clear & Calm, Start Temp 91° (Per The Weather Channel, It Lied)
Opponent SB site: Lone Star Ball
TV: FSN. Radio: I Heart Kris & Cory

It's the Revenge of Rick Aguilera. That's right, the Twins sent Aguilera to the Cubs in 1999, and got prospect Lohse in return.

Hell, maybe we could call it the Revenge of Scott Downs. Downs came to Minnesota from Chicago as a PTBNL, the Twins shipped him back along with Aguilera, Chicago promptly flipped him to Montreal (for Rondell White!), he sucked there, then finally Toronto tried him as a reliever and he had a nice long career. Take that, Twins!

So, for the younguns, here's what Kye Lohse did. He came up in 2001, had some OK years (he'd be the ace on this season's Twins squad and a #5 on a good team), then developed ... er ... "issues" with Ron Gardenhire. As in, took a bat and went full Al Capone on Gardenhire's office door.

Naturally the two insisted they'd patched everything up, and naturally Lohse was dumped at the deadline a year later.

Lohse has bounced around some since, his best stretch being five years in St. Louis. (Of course Lohse was good then! He played with a Molina AND a Punto!) Was OK in Milwaukee, then looked like he was nearing the end last season. Texas signed him to a minor-league deal in May. He throws the usual four pitches. Unless he's added some weird s**t in the minors, I dunno.

He's up because today's originally scheduled starter, young Nick Martinez, has really been scuffling. If you want to go blind, you can look at his 2016 stats, but let's just pick one: 0.53. That's K/BB. As in, WAY more walks than strikeouts. That's not a yummy thing.

Ricky Nolasco is what he is. He hasn't been as bad as Nick Martinez this season, but the season ain't over yet. Before Texas changed its starter, Minnesota was the Vegas favorite. Not no more. Digits (2015 for Lohse, 2016 for Tricky Ricky):

ERA H/9 K/9 BB/9 HR/9 OPS v L/R BAbip FIP
Lohse 5.85
Nolasco 5.26

Did you know the man's full name is Eduardo Michelle Núñez Méndez? I didn't! Cool name. Lineups (Buxton is "day-to-day" with terminal Ceti Alpha 5 earslugs):

North Stars Lone Stars
All-Star Núñez, SS Shin-Soo Choo, RF
Joe Mauer, 1B
Ian Desmond, CF
Miguel Sano, 3B
Suspicious Odor, 2B
"Baldy" Dozier, 2B
Adrian Beltre, 3B
Max von Kepler, RF
Prince Fielder, DH
Kennys Vargas, DH Nomar Mazara, LF
Eddie Rosario, LF Elvis Andrus, SS
Juan 50 Centeno, C Mitch Moreland, 1B
Danny Santana, CF
Robinson Chirinos, C