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The Duffman Falleth: Twins 1, Royals 8

They left me in a world of darkness without your sexy hands and I miss you, Duffman... so bad.

“It is certain that we cannot escape anguish, for we are anguish.”
“It is certain that we cannot escape anguish, for we are anguish.”
Ed Zurga/Getty Images

Brian Dozier got things off to a flying start by hitting a lead off solo HR off of Dillon Gee to put the Twins on the board. The Twins would threaten to score again in the 2nd with two on base and one out, but a ground out and a fly out put an end to that. That was also the end of the Twins offensive highlights, depending on how you define "offensive."

Tyler Duffey cruised along for the first three innings, getting the first 10 batters out in order, after that he wouldn't get another batter out. After giving up a single, he then walked the next two batters to load up the bases. He tried to pitch high and inside on Salvador Perez but plunked him instead to score Chelsor, the Earl of Cuthbert. A grand slam by Alex Gordon followed. Duffey walked the next batter before the guy with the hook from Amateur Night at the Apollo could get Duffey off the mound. Royals up 5-1 at that point.

But the circus must go on. Bottom of the 8th, with two men on, Eddie Rosario launched a ground ball into stands to let the Royals score two more runs. On the next play, Robbie Grossman took a bizarre route to a Kendrys Morales fly ball in center field that dropped for an RBI double. 8-1 Royals.

I don't know about you folks, but I'm beginning to think the Twins playoff chances are starting to fade.

W: Gee (5-6) 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 ER, 1 BB, 5 K

L: Duffey (8-9) 3.2 IP, 2 H, 5 ER, 3 BB, 4 K

STUDS:

Brian Dozier, solo HR

DUDS:

Duffey, that was one ugly inning, uffda, man!

Rosario, Eddie, the beer vendor is NOT the cutoff man.

Mauer, 0 for 4, GIDP, 2 K

Sano, 0 for 3, 2 K

Grossman, 0 for 3, 1 K, 3 LOB, 1 ugly missed catch.

ROBOT ROLL CALL!

# Commenter # Comments
1 less cowbell, more 'neau 20
2 Joel Hernandez 15
3 Brandon Brooks 7
4 montanatwinsfan 6
5 James Fillmore 4
6 sioux1337 3
7 Daniel Carlson 1
8 NorseReign 1
9 Name-Game 1

Comment of the Game: "Cirque du Twinsway" by James Fillmore summed up the game nicely

CotG Runners up: "Ick" by montanatwinsfan, a pic of a forlorn Duffman by Joel Hernandez, and "That's what we call 'a  bad game' " by Brandon Brooks