When you're tasked with recapping a Twins game, and the only sporting events within your grasp are the Rio Olympics opening ceremonies and a trash Brewers/Diamondbacks game, you compensate by intensely scanning the ESPN crawl and watching Maija's Twitter feed. On that note, here is my story about Minnesota's 6-2 victory over the Tampa Bay Rays.
Ervin Santana continued a run of strong, trade-baiting starts, striking out 8 Tampamen in 6.1 innings of work. SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE US TWO GOOD PROSPECTS FOR ERVIN SANTANA WE DON'T ASK FOR MUCH.
With the score knotted at 2 in the 7th, pinch-hitter Eddie Rosario didn't draw a walk, and instead stroked a majestic dong to give the Twins a 3-2 lead. Miguel Sano, in his farewell performance before getting sent to Elizabethton or some bullshit because Minnesota's front office and field staff are the last hard men probably, whacked another dong to make it 4-2 in the 8th. Joe Mauer's 2-run double in the 9th put it out of range for the Tampamen.
- Santana, Rosario, Sano, Mauer, and Brian Dozier, who had a triple at some point before I started paying attention.
- Those Washington politicians. What will they think of next?
|2||less cowbell, more 'neau||23|