Things that have happened since the Twins last won a game

The last time the Twins won a game was August 17th against the Braves in Atlanta. If that seems like a really long time ago, that’s because it was.

Just how long of a time ago was it? Well, here’s a list of things that have happened since the Minnesota Twins last won a game:

• Someone went to the DMV, applied for a new driver’s license, and already received their physical copy in the mail.

• Usain Bolt won two Olympic gold medals.

• The Twin Cities lost 43 minutes of daily sunlight.

• An estimated 2,122,400 people worldwide died (not sure how many of them were Twins fans).

• Americans threw away 882,000 full garbage trucks of trash.

• The Vikings won their first game ever at U.S. Bank Stadium, their star quarterback suffered a catastrophic season-ending injury, and fans declared the season over (kind of).

• A possum somewhere had sex, got pregnant, and already had a baby possum (I’m not even joking).

• At least 91 million hamburgers were made and sold by McDonald’s. At least one of those had to have ended up somewhere in the bathroom of the Cash Wise in south Bismarck.

• Yankees rookie Gary Sanchez hit six home runs.

• But, the Twins’ own Brian Dozier also hit six home runs. A silver lining?

What has changed in your life since the Twins last won?