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Royals 10, Twins 3: Dingers Everywhere

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Brian Dozier tied the AL HR record for second basemen, but the Twin’s bullpen is still very bad.

Kansas City Royals v Minnesota Twins
Tiny Brian Dozier watches a Rosario homer.
Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

EDIT: I guess he hit two as DH so I was wrong, because apparently that matters. I’m an idiot, what do you expect?

There seem to be a lot of things I’m forced to repeat in these recaps. “Brian Dozier homered” is the nice one. The other is “the bullpen imploded and Twins lost anyway.”

So, there you have the short of it. Another game that was close right up until it wasn’t. Here’s the long version, for those so inclined.

Ervin Santana started his work with two quick outs. Eric Hosmer then drew a walk, and as they often do, it would haunt. Kendrys Morales followed him up with a homerun to right. In the Bottom of the first Dozier led off for Minnesota. Like clockwork he hit his 39th dong of the year, tying the American League single-season record for second basemen. Brian Dozier is absolutely breathtakingly ridiculous.

Oh, and then later Trevor Plouffe hit one of his own. 12 isn’t as impressive a number as 39, but congrats to Trevor anyway. Later in the bottom of the second Eddie Rosario would also go deep, putting the Twins up 3 to 2.

Time traveling to the 7th, Ervin Santana hit Royals Catcher, Salvador Perez forcing him to leave the game with an injury. He was later replaced in the field by old friend Drew Butera, who will star in this recap later. Santana then walked Alex Gordon and Molitor went to the bullpen.

Ryan Pressly came in and got two outs, but allowed one run to score on an Alcides Escobar single. Buddy Boshers replaced Pressly and struck out Jarrod Dyson to end the inning. Santana’s final line was 6 IP, 3 ER, 3 BB, and 6 SOs.

In the 8th, Trevor Plouffe managed to injure himself, leaving the game in the middle of an at-bat. Kenny’s Vargas had to come in with 2 strikes already on him. Plouffe apparently has a “left oblique strain.”

With the game tied, the Twins brought in their best reliever, Brandon Kintzler, to pitch the 9th. 3 batters later the bases were loaded, because of course. Kintzler managed to induce a force-out at home for the first out, but then who else but Drew Butera singled in the go-ahead run. Ryan O’Rourke came in and got his own force-out at home for the 2nd out.

Then Pat Light came in. Always the Pats...

Paulo Orlando singled, Eric Hosmer singled, Kendrys Morales homered (again.) and it was suddenly 10 to 3. Why didn’t Morales do this when he was on our side?

The Twins went down 1-2-3 in the bottom of the 9th and the game was over. Kintzler was stuck with the loss, while reliever Kelvin Herrera was awarded the win. The Twins are now 51-88, while the Royals move up to 72-66.

STUDS (STAY POSITIVE!)

Brian Dozier: Record Tyer and Super Hero
Ervin Santana: Solid 7 innings.
Trevor Plouffe: 2 for 3 with a HR before getting injured.

DUDS:
Pat Light: 0.0 Inning Pitched, 3 ER. (He has a 14.34 ERA now.)
Brandon Kintzler: 0.2 IP, 4 ER. (Still a 2.91 ERA!)

ROLL CALL AND QUOTES OF THE GAMETHREAD (WARNING: DONGS AHEAD!)

# Recs Commenter Comment Link
6 myjah DONG QUEST COMPLETED!
5 myjah Cory Provus (to Danny Gladden): why'd you have to Lombardozzi me over that?"
4 myjah DONG QUEST!!!
2 myjah 69 Dozier Dongs
2 Joel Hernandez .
2 Daniel Carlson Super Dongtastic job Tawny
2 Daniel Carlson I have scouts down there now
2 TawnyFroggy He should change his first name to Pat.
1 myjah ubuntu is an operating system
1 less cowbell, more 'neau You can never have too many holy crusades against the infidels.
1 myjah lol
1 less cowbell, more 'neau THERE'S TWO OF THEM????
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Sweet Drew avenging Carl Pavano
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Do they hear the people sing?
1 myjah Fucking Pat.
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Twins haven't had a catcher this tough since Mike Redmond
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Bases loaded no outs
1 Joel Hernandez Not all chubby twins players who play basebal in 2016 look alike
1 James Fillmore Also the guy who played the super-straight-laced cop Roday always made fun of
1 Daniel Carlson At least it shows you don't have to be this big huge guy to be an elite dong master
1 James Fillmore Things have gotten a little blue around here
1 gintzer Dozier... Legendary. I am speechless.
1 TawnyFroggy He seemed perfect for the role.
1 myjah lol at Joe Mauer in the cage
1 Daniel Carlson Shortest players to hit Home Runs...per Yahoo Answers so you know it's true
1 James Fillmore That is a lot of work
1 Joel Hernandez Only nice to suck you in
1 TawnyFroggy Everyone was awesome in that show.
1 James Fillmore Dule Hill is my hero
1 myjah Brian Dozier not homering feels weird
1 Hayden A i mean I'm taking geometry