Former Twins coach Scott Ullger spent Thursday night sitting by his landline telephone and watching Nick at Nite reruns on the small TV in his kitchenette, per multiple reports.
Ullger’s former boss, Ron Gardenhire, is expected to take the vacant Detroit Tigers managerial post.
“Oh yeah, I figure I’ll be hearing something sooner rather than later,” Ullger told reporters as he nursed a Diet Rite while microwaving a Philly Steak & Cheese Lean Pocket. “Topped off the tank of the Grand Am first thing this morning. Bag is packed. Check for that goofy little bastard who mows the lawn is written. When it’s go time, it’s go time.”
Gardenhire has given no indication as to who will be on his staff, much less if he’d be bringing back familiar Twins faces like Ullger and pitching coach Rick Anderson. As for Ullger, he’s clearly ready for anything, but was more focused on the Friends rerun on his television.
“Look at Ross (Gellar, played by the actor David Schwimmer) trying to put those friggin’ leather pants on,” said Ullger. “Blew it with Rachel, blew it with Emily, and there’s no way this date is gonna end well. Baby powder! What a knucklehead.”
Ullger said he’s been catching up on shows he missed while spending much of the last two decades as a major league coach.
“There’s whole things I missed while I was out on the road,” said the former Twins third base coach. “Getting back to Ross, though, man, what a pain in the ass that guy is. Don’t know what any of these women see in him. Don’t know why his guy friends hang out with him. Joey oughta just haul off and deck him.”
Ullger said he would probably stay up “pretty late” into the night.
“Phone might ring tonight, phone might ring tomorrow or this weekend,” mused Ullger. “I got no control over that, but my TV Guide says Family Matters comes on next. I tell you what, I get a kick out of that Urkel guy. ‘Did I do that?’ He knows damn well he did. Guy’s a character.”