Tonight, sports fans get to experience one of the greatest events in the sports world—a Game 7 of the World Series. An 162-game season and month-long postseason all come down to today. The winner takes all the glory; the loser is relegated to watching clips of their team losing anytime in the future when it becomes relevant—which is where Twins fans will find themselves tonight.
That’s because the last time the Dodgers played in Game 7 of the World Series was 1965 against the Twins at Metropolitan Stadium. The Dodgers won, of course, because of that F’ing Sandy Koufax. If you watched Game 6 last night, you were already reminded of this fact several times.
Well folks, tonight it’s probably going to be even worse. I know many of you weren’t alive or don’t remember 1965, but I live vicariously through my mother, who is still devastated by the loss. Also, we’re Minnesotans. We feel a deep sense of pride and excitement anytime anyone mentions us on a national stage, so let’s not bother pretending like we aren’t going to milk this small connection to tonight’s game for all it’s worth.
Hence, I have come up with the following Game 7 Drinking Game For Twins Fans (Or Anyone Else Who Wants To Participate For Some Dumb Reason). The point of the game isn’t so much to get intoxicated as it is to pay extra close attention to anytime anything related to Minnesota is mentioned in tonight’s game between the Astros and the Dodgers.
Here are the rules:
- 1965 World Series mention: One sip of beer
- Yom Kippur mention: One shot of water
- Metropolitan Stadium mention: Two sips of beer.
- Metropolitan Stadium mentioned as specifically being in Bloomington: One shot hard liquor.
- John Smoltz mentions the 1991 World Series: Two shots of hard liquor.
- Anyone says, “Jack Morris”: Finish your drink.
- Anyone says anything about Jack Morris and the Hall of Fame: Five shots of hard liquor.
- Tony Oliva mention: One shot of hard liquor.
- Harmon Killebrew mention: Two shots of root beer.
- Zoilo Versalles mention: Three shots hard liquor.
- Grainy video of 1965 World Series: Keep drinking until clip is over.
- Joe Buck says, ”Kitty Kaat”: Shotgun a beer.
- Anyone mentions Kent Hrbek: One shot of fox urine.
- Mudcat Grant home run mention: A glass of champagne.
- Photo or video of Vin Scully from 1965 displayed: Drink a tall glass of water.
- Sandy Koufax’s two complete-game shutouts mention: One squirt of lemon/lime/grapefruit juice in your left eye.
- Sandy Koufax shown on camera in the crowd: Two sips of hard liquor.
- Lou Johnson’s two home runs mention: Two shots hard liquor.
- The only World Series Game the Twins have lost at home mention: A glass of Wild Turkey.
Please drink responsibly.