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HPMLD: Rods, free agents, burglaries and more

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You never forget your first offseason link dump

Project Unveiling At Hannover Messe 2013 Industrial Trade Fair Photo by Alexander Koerner/Getty Images for Read Russia

The 2017 season is over. Congratulations to the Houston Astros (except Yuli Gurriel). Now begins the unceasing, gray months of rumors, scopes, exits, signings, and absolute nothing. We will be here for you. We love you. And now, the Hosken Powell Memorial Link Dump.

  • Remember when a local columnist shredded Miguel Sano for being a fatty fat fat pants after he fouled a ball off his ankle? Anyway, funny story: Sano needs a titanium rod put in his leg now. This isn’t due to cheeseburgers, but that won’t stop people from thinking and saying as much. You can disregard them.
  • So, the Twins need pitching. Twinkie Town needs content. Fortunately, MLB Trade Rumors put together a list of the Top 50 Free Agents and Predictions that is rife (rife, I say!) with speculation. World Series bedshitter Yu Darvish is not predicted to come here, but the site does like the looks of Tampa’s Alex Cobb (as also predicted by Granite City Sports’ Josh Fiedler on a local sports podcast) and St. Louis’ Juan Nicasio. A fun side feature of the piece: all the former Twins who dot the top 50 free agent landscape (GoGo! Squidward! Kintzler! Neshek!)
  • Speaking of former Twins, if you want to bring back the magic of May 2015, Ricky Nolasco is available. (You don’t want this.)
  • For being the best pitcher of his generation, Clayton Kershaw is emo as hell.
  • And Yasiel Puig’s night was worse.
  • Every story about Houston mentions how terrible they were not so long ago. SB Nation’s Jon Bois took to Twitter last night with some of the best GIFs of that long, fallow period.

And

And the legend, the champion ASTROS NO gif

They’re champions now. God bless those goofs until we have to hate them for being too successful.

  • Ron Gardenhire really did get most of the (coaching) band back together in Detroit. Familiar faces include Joe Vavra, Rick Anderson, and Steve Liddle. Absent from the list: Scott Ullger. Per Mike Berardino, this might have something to do with a family situation as opposed to the pretend misadventures he gets into on this website. We wish him the very best.