Answering the questions, but not under oath.

I'm a lawyer, and I tell my clients to answer the questions asked. Some don’t apply, though, and have been deleted.

1. How many jerseys/shirseys do you own? What players are they? What color or style? How or why did you get them?

I have one, but I'm not sure it really counts. It was a promotional giveaway at the Northwest Arkansas Naturals (Royals AA affiliate that plays about 70 miles from my home) game. It says "Naturals" on the front and Hosmer with the number 33 on the back, but under his name, there is the name of the credit union that sponsored the promo. Since they aren't sponsoring my answer, I won't name them here.

2. When and how did you get your first jersey? What player was it of?

That Hosmer shirt is the first one I've owned.

3. Which jersey or shirsey do you want to get next?

I have no plans to expand the collection, unless I am given one when I walk into a stadium.

4. Do you own jerseys from your own playing days? Why do you still have them? Are you still playing? Are you Glen Perkins?

Many years ago, my high school merged with another, and the Havana Demons were no more. One of the guys that still lived in the area snagged some basketball uniform tops, and called to tell me he found one with my number on it. The uniform style was very similar to what I wore, and I was glad to get it. I am not now, nor have I ever been, Glen Perkins.

5. Do you think owning or wearing players' jerseys is just dumb? Why?

No, but I have to tell you guys, no one is fooled by it. For instance, if I DID have a Glen Perkins jersey, no one would think I was him. I saw women wearing a Mark McGuire jersey in St. Louis a few years ago, and while a couple did approximate his size and facial hair, I still knew it wasn't him.

Joey Self