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Farm Report: 4 and 20 reasons to plant seeds that grow

A recap of the Twins' minor league affiliates' results from April 28th, 2017.

Afghan Cannabis Farmers See Crop Prices Rise
Either Afghanistan or the mountains around Grants Pass, Oregon.
Photo by Paula Bronstein/Getty Images

Triple-A: Louisville Bats 2, Rochester Red Wings 1

Oh, yeah, Adalberto Mejia! I kinda forgot about him! What’s happened to my short-term memory? Anyhoo, AM held the Bats scoreless through seven innings, striking out six. Relievers Raul Fernandez and Trevor Hildenberger then promptly lost the game. Is it me, or is every other Twins farmhand named Trevor or Raul?

Ehire Adrianza, who sounds like an online jobsite, got the only RBI for Rochester, and one of the Red Wings’ four hits. Nobody not named Danny cares about this. What you do care about is why Louisville uses the incredibly dull name “Bats” for their team. Well, Mammoth Cave National Park is in Kentucky, and it has many bats. Or used to; they’re kinda dying. Which is sad. OTOH, I once got cave bat poop in my nose, and I was barfing for three straight days.

[Box Score]

Double-A: Jackson Generals 10, Chattanooga Lookouts 3

In his first start since getting called up (again) from High-A, Randy LeBlanc was practically tripping over balls. Here’s how his third inning went down: walk, walk, single, single, single, double, single, homer, yanked. Poor dude needs to mellow out!

Offensively, smokin’ SS Nick Gordon had a walk and burnin’ 2B Engelb Vielma two hits. I am required by law to tell you CF LaMonte Wade had three hits, but I don’t want to. Wade went to the University of Maryland. Where students press that damn “walk” button at traffic lights, even though cars are stuck in bumper-to-bumper gridlock. A) students could totally dash between the stopped cars, B) the red lights for ONE DANG STUDENT crossing the street make traffic worse, C) the University goes on for like, ten blocks, each of which this happens at, and D) this sucks when you’re in a car and really have to pee. To hell with the Terrapins!

[Box Score]

High-A: Dunedin Marauders 8, Ft. Myers Miracle 4

Okay, this is totally trippy. Just like last Friday, it was Keaton Steele pitching against the Marauders, and just like then, he tots stank. We’re talkin’ a 3.25 WHIP in one game (and an only slightly better 1.95 for the season). I’d like to give him a pass since he’s still new to High-A, but he’s 25, and that’s rather oldish for this stuff. By the time I was 25, I had it all figured out in life. (Alas, later I unfigured it.)

We have a One Of Us sighting! CF Max Murphy is from Robbinsdale (his photo looks like he’s from Red Wing ca. 1987) and had two hits. DH/3B/PG Chris Paul keeps raking and baking, with two of his own and an average of .310. The Miracle also feature a reliever called Jonny Drozd, and this is a bitchin’ name.

[Box Score]

Low-A: Peoria Chiefs 5, Cedar Rapids Kernels 2

Let’s continue the trend of homegrown pitchers harshing your vibe. Domenick Carlini was mamaluke, walking four, allowing five hits & runs in 3.1 IP. On the bright side, SS Jermaine Palacios had three hits and is swinging a sweet .395 in the new season. C Ben Rotvedt had no hits and is averaging .100, but he’s from Verona, WI, which is kinda sorta One Of Us. Not really, though.

Why the hell did this photo pop up in the ad window when I looked at the Mean Corn team website? What the hell do they do down there in Iowa? What the hell have I forgotten doing on this computer?

[Box Score]

Do you have a picture or pictures of your tractor, farm animals, land, or other equipment you’d like to see us use for a future farm report? We would love your submissions and happily give you and/or your farm full credit and a shout-out. Please e-mail myjah at if you are interested. Keep it on the downlow, be cool, man.