TWINS WIN, TWINS WIN, TWINS WIN, SUCK IT KC
Ervin Santana got the opening day nod, and pitched exactly like the ace he is supposed to be. He gave up only 2 hits, though one of them was a Mike Moustakas solo dong. Who cares though, because a bit later Miguel Sano stroked his own dong, and as they say Sano’s dong was so long.
Nothing much else happened in the Danny Duffy/Ervin Santana pitcher’s duel until God blessed America with a seventh inning. The top of which was Santana’s last, and another scoreless. To start the Twins half, Jorge Polanco blooped a single to center. Many groans accompanied Max Kepler squaring to bunt (in fact he nearly bunted into a double play, but it was grabbed foul.) but he laid down a sweet one and had a bang bang play at first.
“Yerrrrrr Out” said the umpire, probably.
“Yeah Nah” said Twins new first base coach Jeff Smith. “How about nah?”
So the call was overturned and Kepler was awarded the single. Eddie Rosario came up to bunt next. Bunt to live, bunt to love. He pushed the runners up a base, but his sacrifice was actually a sacrifice, unlike that cowardly Kepler who just got a hit. One out, men on 2nd and 3rd. Brian Dozier was immediately walked, automatically without any pitches. It was strange, saved a few seconds and 38 teenagers became baseball fans after seeing it. Thanks, Rob Manfred.
Professional Designated Hitter Robbie Grossman was up next, and did as his father always told him: When life loads your bases, get walked on four pitches. 2-1 Twins! Byron Buxton then struck out (he’ll do that.) for the second out. New pitcher Peter Moylan came in to face Joe Mauer with the bases loaded. He walked him on 5 pitches. Miguel Sano? Walked on five pitches. Jason Castro?
Walked on five pitches Singled in two runs. Jorge Polanco then came up for the second time in the inning and singled in yet another run. Max Kepler struck out. Inning over, Twins ahead 7 to 1! Holy crap! Matt Belisle and Brandon Kintzler pitched scoreless innings and voila! Twins win their first opening day since 2008!
Ervin Santana: 7 IP, 1 ER on 2 hits and 2 walks. 3 strikeouts.
Jorge Polanco: 2 for 3 with a RBI a run and a walk. All the speeds really.
Jason Castro: Caught balls, hit two singles, drove in two runs.
Byron Buxton’s glove: Some nice plays, including the first 5 star catch of the season per statcast!
Byron Buxton’s bat: 0 for 5. 3 Ks. Frowny face.
NO OTHER DUDS THOUGH TWINS WIN!
ROLL MY CALL
|2||less cowbell, more 'neau||43|
|33||The Ham Sandwich||1|
Congratulations to Beefmaster. Truly you have mastered the beef.
Enjoy the off day! See you Wednesday!