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Game 2: Kansas City Royals @ Minnesota Twins

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Featuring your #2 starter, Hector Santiago.

I still know what you did last summer.
I still know what you did last summer.
Bruce Kluckhohn-USA TODAY Sports

First Pitch: 12:10 PM. Vegas odds: KC -110 / +100 MIN

Weather: Cloudy, Isolated Showers, High 56°

TV: FSN. Radio: Lt. Uhura

Opposing (and very good) SB site: Royals Review

Baseball is a difficult job, with many challenges. Prominent among these challenges is adjusting to your fellow players. You're essentially in an arranged plural marriage; you have to get along with scores of people, most of whom you've never met.

I recently started a new job -- name withheld to protect the innocent -- and have faced a similar challenge. My coworkers don't know if I'm "cool" or a "tool." This is frustrating, but it is something I've been through before. It'll work itself out, or it won't.

It's a small business, and the owner is a likeable fellow. He's an older gentleman, who does most maintenance on the business himself; a rather straight-laced dude. Which is great by me! I'm rather a square, so straight-laced is how I roll.

Yesterday, I was looking for some cleaning supplies, and my search took me down to the enormous basement. It has all kinds of odds and ends. As mentioned, the owner's something of a handyman, and if you've known handymen, they tend to have lots of parts & pieces lying around.

Oh, and in this case, a box full of vintage porn videotapes.

I didn't catch it, at first. I saw the box of old VHS movies, and one was named "Fatliners." I thought, "I remember that movie. Julia Roberts was in it. But ... wasn't it spelled Flatliners?"

Indeed, the 1990 movie was spelled so. This tape was spelled differently. Then I saw the titles of those other tapes; "Eliza's Executive SWEET," "Company ASSets," and the like. It was all big-hair, 80s-90s porn.

And the one copy of Disney's original, cartoon "Beauty & The Beast," which was incongruous. OR WAS IT?????

I felt like I'd stumbled into Ron Gardenhire's garage, "Scenes From A Not-Season"-style.

I don't judge! I simply found it ... rather strange. Like looking up a bus schedule on the Web and accidentally stumbling across some, um, "curious" browser history another user didn't erase.

C'est la vie, say the old folks! It goes to show, you never can tell.

⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️

Today's pitchers are Ian Kennedy, who was mentioned as a possible trade chip for Johan Santana, so he's been around forever. And Hector Santiago, who has been around less long yet is comparably mediocre. Watch them both be terrific, because that's the kind of strange stuff baseball delivers.

With future pitching matchups there will be stats & such. I'm too hungover for it today, and these starters are too boring.

GO TWINS GO! Projected record (through April 5): 162-0

Today's Lineups

KANSAS CITY ROYALS MINNESOTA TWINS
Alex Gordon - LF Brian Dozier - 2B
Mike Moustakas - DH Max Kepler - RF
Lorenzo Cain - CF Byron Buxton - CF
Eric Hosmer - 1B Joe Mauer - 1B
Salvador Perez - C Miguel Sano - 3B
Paulo Orlando - RF Jason Castro - C
Cheslor Cuthbert - 3B Eduardo Escobar - SS
Alcides Escobar - SS Eddie Rosario - LF
Raul Mondesi - 2B Robbie Grossman - DH
Ian Kennedy - RHP Hector Santiago - LHP