THURSDAY THUNDER DUMP!!!!!

¿Hasta Mañana, Santana?

Nick Cafardo at the Boston Globe thinks Ervin Santana could be an “intriguing” trade target this year. He quotes an AL scout who says because of Santana’s salary, talent, and experience... oh, and he “wouldn’t cost as much in terms of talent” compared to some bigger names. I have no idea why he thinks the Twins would trade him on the cheap, but there you have it.

It’s Not As Bad As You Think

The Pioneer Press’s Chad Graff has a story as to why the new guys in charge, Derek Falvey and Thad Levine, didn’t just gut the 103-loss 2016 Twins and just start over.

“We’re hopeful that what we saw last year was an anomaly,” Levine said. “There have been teams extremely successful rebuilding … (without) losing 100-plus games multiple years in a row. That’s something we’ve been very clear about with (owner) Jim Pohlad and (president) Dave St. Peter.

“This team is light years ahead of where they were in that rebuild process in Houston,” [Jason] Castro said. “I think we’ll make vast improvements from where this team finished last year.”

It’s Worse Than You Thought

“The Twins will struggle,” predicts Ted Anderson of the Hibbing Daily Tribune. He thinks Joe Mauer, the meager payroll, and the pitching staff are all suspect.

Coming off a 103-loss season, the starting pitching staff made no big acquisitions during the off-season and the Twins enter the season with basically the same pitchers. I don’t know about you, but if I had the same pitching staff returning from the worst Twins team in franchise history, it would be difficult for me to be optimistic.

Robbie Grossman: Designated Hitter?

Not as a long-term role, said Paul Molitor. For now, Molly is planning on moving Grossman around depending on the match ups, reports Rhett Bollinger for the Twins MLB site, but...

"Is Robbie Grossman going to DH 150 games this year? I don't think it's very likely," Molitor said. "It's a position that if we can get someone the majority of the games, it might be a good thing, but I can't tell you who that's going to be right now."

So what happens to Robbie in the long term? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Majors’ Major Myjah Maija

Twinkie Town’s blog Hitler Managing Editor and noted Finn did an interview with Royals Review Radio podcast. Recorded before the season started, she talks about wishing we had traded Dozier and why she thinks the Twins will suck this year among other Twins’ stuff. She says enough Minnesota-isms like, um, “Um” “Yah” and “Mm-hms” so you know she’s actually lived here for a while, but not a single “Uffda,” “Yumpin’ Yiminy,” or a “You betcha!” She must be from the Cities. You can also hear her cat, “Furrby Puckett” meowing from time to time. You can listen to the podcast here.

Texas Rangers Not So Nice

Big League Stew is reporting the Rangers declined to let an unnamed player wear jersey number “69” this year. A quick search of the interwebs revealed that the Twins have never had anyone with that number either. Surprisingly, they’ve had a “0” (Junior Ortiz 1990-91), a Senator with “00” (Bobo Newsom 1943-47), and 12 “lucky” 13s.

The Homer Hankie That Almost Wasn’t

Remember the iconic Homer Hankies from the 1987 and 1991 World Series teams, or at least saw them on some replay of the games? The Twins officials tried to stop them from being distributed because they were afraid they would make the team a laughing stock. They handed them out anyway, and the rest is history. MPR has the details.

Uffda! Another Murder in Fargo?

Season 3 trailer for the series “Fargo” is out don’tcha know. Yah, and there’s probably more murders and rude out-of-towners. That’s not the Fargo I grew up in, for gosh sakes! Plus, I’ve never seen a car valet the whole danged time I was there! Yah, I’ll probably still watch it though.