Thoughts on your undefeated Minnesota Twins

The Twins are undefeated, playing mostly clean baseball and taking advantage of another team’s flaws. If you’ve watched the Twins at all since 2010, this is how you beat...the Minnesota Twins. It’s been nice to see the tables turn. Old farts welcome the return of a Kansas City Royals team that will step on every rake you leave in their yard. The comfort of the familiar is not unappealing.

So, what are my thoughts, the guy who usually tells lies on Fridays to provoke laughter and Facebook likes? They’re mostly good thoughts!

• If they had any record besides 3-0, the panic about Byron Buxton’s offense would be full blown. On a mildly popular local sports and culture podcast, I predicted Bux would finish in the Top 10 of AL MVP voting. The current returns on that prediction are NOT ENCOURAGING. However, he catches everything, which leads me to...
• ...the defense: it’s back? When Danny Santana started doing Danny Santana shit in the outfield on Thursday, it was weird, because it looked like the last half-decade, not the last two games, which were remarkable in their defensive competence. Plays that needed to be made were made. Nobody was striking out, so they had to live and die by BABIP. They lived.
• Miguel Sano’s shitty spring: I don’t remember it, either.
• Jason Castro is my new best friend. Always on base, throws out baserunners, isn’t Juan Centeno.
• Chris Gimenez is still in the league and is a Minnesota Twin, which I definitely knew and didn’t surprise me.
• Number of walks the Twins took: All of ‘em. Was it the New Guys telling them to be more patient with their spreadsheets, or just the Royals being bad at throwing from mounds? I don’t know!
• Buxton, Dozier, and Mauer haven’t done a whole hell of a lot yet, but again, 3-0.
• The bullpen, which terrified everyone in the offseason, and terrified everyone even more when Trevor May went down, is...fine. Ryan Pressly, Taylor Rogers, a bunch of other guys whose names I’ll remember. Let’s say Craig Breslow.
• The starters are...fine. Santana was really good, and Santiago and Gibby were adequate.
• The Royals suck.
• Small sample sizes are a source of warmth in a world gone mad, and I will hold them tight in the widening gyre.
• I sort of look forward to watching the games this weekend. The White Sox replaced Chris Sale with Mike Pelfrey, I guess?

God this is so much more fun than making fun of a bad team.