Twins 3, White Sox 1: Hughes loses rib, wins game

Thoracic outlet syndrome, per the Mayo Fucking Clinic, is a disorder that happens when nerves and blood vessels get all bunched up between your collarbone and your first rib. To alleviate it, the doctor people take out the first rib. That’s just crazy.

Anyway, that’s what Phil Hughes did in order to try and pitch in the major leagues one more time. And for one night, he was as successful as the Twins could have possibly hoped, pitching six innings of fly ball-heavy, 1-run ball as the Twins took out the White Sox, 3-1.

Those fly balls were hit predominantly to Byron Buxton, who had roughly 40 putouts in centerfield. Two of them were very cool, as was a diving stop by Max Kepler in the fifth to record the third out and prevent a run from scoring. Some luck played into it, as his final out of the night was a ball that Todd Frazier just got under, taking Eddie Rosario all the way to the wall in left.

The Twins offense, while not the machine it was the last two games, did enough. An error by Avisail Garcia allowed Robbie Grossman to score the Twins first run in the fourth, one of three Whities’ errors in the game. The Twins took the lead on another great at-bat from Miguel Sano, who laced an oppo double in the sixth to score Grossman again. Chris Gimenez, who is definitely in the league in 2017 and playing for the Twins, doubled in Eduardo Escobar to score Minnesota’s final run.

The bullpen, which you, me, and everybody was freaked out about, was great. Tyler Duffey pitched two innings and was filthy, striking out three. Brandon Kintzler struck out the first two men looking, walked the next two, everyone got the tight butthole, and then an easy grounder to end the game. Undefeated. Still.

STUDS

• Hughes. MOTHERFUCKER GOT A RIB TOOK OUT.
• Bullpen.
• Sano.
• Buxton defense. He’s elite.

DUDS

• Buxton offense. He’s just a mess.

ROBOT ROLLCALL

Enjoy your weekend, everybody.