Twins 9, Athletics 1: Dong Day Massacre

My days for recap seem to line up with Ervin Santana’s starts, and in every single one of them I get to say how ridiculous he’s been so far. Well he was that again tonight, pitching six scoreless frames and striking out 7 batters.

As sexy as he’s been, the real story tonight was the bats. Bats are made to bat balls and these bats batted balls like it was national bat-the-balls-better-than-before day.

Yeah.

Brian Dozier started the fiesta de los dongs in the 3rd inning with a solo shot to center. After Max Kepler walked (which would, of course, haunt.) Miguel Sano did what he does best and smash the the very atoms out of a baseball. His 8th long dong was a monster one to dead center right over the batter’s eye. Here is a link to the video that I can’t currently embed. In the 4th, apparent home run guy, Jason Castro tacked on his own. This one was also to center, which will be the theme for this entire article.

Grab my hand and we’ll hop, skip and then jump to the bottom of the 7th. Guess who hit one out? No, not him. Byron Buxton, that’s who! He would later ground-out in a run for his 2nd RBI. I think he’s getting the hang of this hitting thing. His homerun was to LEFT-center though. Way to be non-conformist, Byron. Oh also then Brian Dozier hit another to center. As he does.

Sick of dongs, the Athetics pitched around walking dong machine, Miguel Sano to get to Joe Mauer. We’ve all been down on the guy who isn’t having an enthusiastic start to another year, and he really seems like a shell of his former self.

Two run homer (barely) to center though, because why not?

In the ninth, Michael Tonkin came in to blow the shut out and he succeeded in doing that. Yonder Alonso got his own dinger. You’ll never in a million years guess what part of the field he hit that to.

The Twins jump 2 games above 5 hundred and join a 3 way tie not first or last in the AL central.

STUDS: Santana, Dozier, Sano, Buxton

DUDS: NO DUDS TWINS SUPER WIN.
Even Danny Santana got a hit today

Real Roll Call:

See you next time!

(Thanks to commenters whose Dong titles I stole, and cowbell for posting this image!)