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Twins 7, A’s 4: Vargas mimics Sano, Kintzler mimics Guardado

Kendall Graveman was buried early, and Minnesota unearthed another win against Oakland. Other teams lost, putting the Twins in first!

Oakland Athletics v Minnesota Twins
This isn’t a photo, it’s a GIF of Kennys Vargas running in real time.
Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

Both Twins starter Hector Santiago and A’s mound-minder Kendall Graveman have begun this season much better than their past performances would indicate. This made it likely that one, or both, would Regress To The Mean, or whatever it is the numbers types say.

Graveman managed to walk the bases full in his first inning, and Lil’ Kennys Vargas made him pay with a broken-bat single. WALKS WILL HAUNT! (And hawks will want, if there’s a shortage of rodents.)

Vargas wasn’t done, either. He’d bang a dong in the third with two more runners on (lazy Mauer having walked both times). Once Byron Buxton led off the next inning with a triple, it was time for sorely missed "Guy Who Was Always Supposed To Be A Good Starter" Liam Hendriks to come in.

(Buxton also had a nifty catch, check it out.)

Not that Santiago was fabulous; 6 IP, 3 H, 3 BB, 3 ER, 2 K, with 66.6% of the runs coming from a homer by largish humanoid Yonder Alonso. Breathing lefty Taylor Rogers and Veteran Presence Matt Belisle kept Oakland quiet for two innings.

Then ... it got interesting. Brandon Kintzler, Minnesota’s Closer With The Mental Makeup And Intestinal Fortitude It Takes In The Ninth Inning, gave up two straight singles and a loooong full-count walk (courtesy of Jed Lowrie). Matt Joyce singled in a run, Rajai Davis grounded into a force-out at home.

And then, Trevor Plouffe! "UUUUUUU" knocked one straight into a double play (his second of the game). Making us still love him.

Comments of the thread: kenzertz, with "I wonder if Plouffe still has Sheboygan on his mind," and Gunnarthor, with this observation on the elusive nature of truth in modern times.

Thanks to Brandon Brooks for pointing out the Twins are in first place now! For shit's sakes, don't expect me to notice minute details like these.

Twins' extrapolated 2017 record: 91-71. Robot Roll Call: