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Game 62: Seattle Mariners @ Minnesota Twins

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Let's combine yesterday's Twins offense with Santana's last start, shall we? No? Fine, be mean to me.

"Hmm, what suddenly smells like the water fountain in Ashland?"
"Hmm, what suddenly smells like the water fountain in Ashland?"
Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

First Pitch: 7:10 PM. Vegas odds: -131 MIN / SEA +121

Weather: Clear Skies, Start Temp 83°

TV: FSN. Radio: The Hand That Feeds Me

Opponent's (quite cool) SB site: Lookout Landing

It's time for:

sam gaviglio

AND THE FOUNTAIN OF NASTY-ASS WATER

Mariners rookie starter Sam Gaviglio is from Ashland, OR, a town of 20,000. Ashland is known for being rather quirky. It's five hours from Portland and six from San Francisco, with not much in between except pretty scenery, so Ashland kind of does its own thing. Ashland is home to the first-rate Oregon Shakespeare Festival, several small manufacturing companies, oddball artists, and even odder spooky hill folk. The kind who come into town twice a year, buy a trailer load of pesticide & fertilizer, and pay in cash. If you know what I mean, and I think you do.

But what almost anyone who's been in Ashland remembers most vividly is the nasty-ass water fountain.

If you're walking by the water fountain, and you don't look like a local (basically, you're neither dressed as a hippie nor a logger), someone will inevitably invite you to try a drink. It is a nice-looking water fountain, and so you will try it. With this result:

The water is from a nearby spring. It contains the element (and psychiatric drug) lithium, along with sulfur, chlorine, some other stuff. It's perfectly safe to drink, and it's DISGUSTING. It smells like something dead in your drywall. It tastes like tea made from steeping the dead thing in your drywall.

The locals do this to you entirely on purpose, and are quite proud of their little prank. Here's a short, interesting article one wrote about the spring water's history. Apparently, lithium was originally an ingredient in 7-Up. I sense the old 7-Up and Coca-Cola were more fun than modern versions. Anyhoo, on to baseball!

⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️

Gaviglio will be making his sixth start tonight. He was a strikeout pitcher in the low minors, much less so at AAA, and isn't in the bigs. He throws the usual four pitches, and none are devastating, but he's always had good control. So don't aim the ball at defenders, Twins hitters. Digits:

ohthisgoddmanthing

That H/9 number for Santana is italicized because, per BRef, it leads the league. By a lot. #2 is Max Scherzer, at 5.6. So don't be mad at how BRef lists Santana's FIP. Yes, it suggests he's been unusually lucky (which Santana has), but it's also a testament to having excellent defense behind you (which Santana has).

Today's Lineups

SEATTLE MARINERS MINNESOTA TWINS
Ben Gamel - LF Brian Dozier - 2B
Mitch Haniger - RF Joe Mauer - 1B
Robinson "Rhymes With" Cano - 2B Miguel "Rhymes With" Sano - 3B
Nelson Cruz - DH Max Kepler - RF
Kyle Broflovski Seager - 3B They Killed Kennys Vargas - DH
Danny Valencia - 1B Eduardo Escobar - SS
Jarrod Dyson - CF Jason Castro - C
Mike Zunino - C Byron Buxton - CF
Taylor Motter - SS Eddie Rosario - LF
Sam Gaviglio - RHP Ervin Santana - RHP