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Game LXIII: Mariners at Twins

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The Seattle Mariners (33-34) and Minnesota Twins (33-29) grapple in the Minne Apple.

Area man & certified lunatic thinks flying baseball is priceless alien egg, fails to catch egg, goes home and punishes himself with repeated beatings of genitals by stalks of rhubarb.
Area man & certified lunatic thinks flying baseball is priceless alien egg, fails to catch egg, goes home and punishes himself with repeated beatings of genitals by stalks of rhubarb.
Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

First Pitch: 12:10 PM CT
TV: FSN, MLBN (out of market)
Radio: GO 96.3, TIBN
Know Thy Enemy: Lookout Landing
Weather: Sunny, 82°F
Where: Tammy Faye Memorial Park

Pitching for the Twins today is Jose Berrios (RHP, 5-1, 2.84 ERA). "La MaKina" didn't have his best stuff against the Giants but still held them to two runs while striking out eight over 5 1/3 innings. Berrios has never pitched against the Mariners before. The airspeed exit velocity of unladen swallows hit balls with runners on base of batters facing Berrios average 82 mph, resulting in a .163 BA against him, if you're into that sort of thing.

Taking the hill for the Mariners will be Ariel Miranda (LHP, 6-2, 3.67 ERA). Despite a name sounding like a he's mermaid with a hat made of fruit singing samba tunes, Miranda has done well filling in for Mariners starters on the DL. He's kept his opponents to two runs or fewer in his last six starts. Miranda has only faced the Twins once before, in 2016 and he gave up three runs over four innings in that game.

This is the fourth and final game of the series with the Mariners and they have taken two of the last three. Mike Zunino has hit four home runs off of Twins pitchers in the last eight days. Last night, after hitting one off of Ervin Santana, he got hit by a pitch in the arm, both Zunino and Santana glared and barked at each other and the umps warned both benches. In the 6th Sano hit a two-run homer and did a little bat flip after, but no one on the Mariners seemed terribly upset. It will be interesting to see if this carries over to today's game.

As for me, I'm so sick of the Mariners, I'd rather watch the Twins play a four-game stand against the Yankees in NY and be forced to listen to "Judge" puns and Sinatra singing "New York, New York" the whole time. They were cute when "Itchy" was doing Samurai poses, or when we were watching King Felix pitch, or when Ken Griffey Jr. was snoozing in the clubhouse, but now they're like a family of raccoons that have taken up residence in your kitchen and are pooping all over the place and eating all of your peanut butter Cap'n Crunch. They're not cute anymore. Go away, Mariners! No one likes you!

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Today's Lineups

SEATTLE MARINERS MINNESOTA TWINS
Ben Gamel - LF Brian Dozier - 2B
Mitch Haniger - RF Eduardo Escobar - 3B
Robinson Cano - 2B Miguel Sano - DH
Nelson Cruz - DH Robbie Grossman - RF
Kyle Seager - 3B Kennys Vargas - 1B
Danny Valencia - 1B Jorge Polanco - SS
Jarrod Dyson - CF Chris Gimenez - C
Carlos Ruiz - C Eddie Rosario - LF
Taylor Motter - SS Byron Buxton - CF
Ariel Miranda - LHP Jose Berrios - RHP

Poll

Which team will score more than 10 runs today?

This poll is closed

  • 31%
    Twins
    (15 votes)
  • 4%
    Mariners
    (2 votes)
  • 6%
    Both
    (3 votes)
  • 21%
    Neither
    (10 votes)
  • 17%
    A, B and C
    (8 votes)
  • 19%
    None of the above.
    (9 votes)
47 votes total Vote Now