Other teams have bad bullpens, too

The atrocity exhibition that took place at Target Field starting in the 9th inning of Sunday’s insane 400-inning game gave every Twins fan pause. It seemed like a battered, underwhelming bullpen and inopportune defensive lapses would very likely prevent the team from winning another game in 2017.

No, scratch that. It seemed like a battered, underwhelming bullpen and inopportune defensive lapses would cause the heat death of the entire universe, and all that would be left were Yankees, Red Sox, and Cardinals fans being haughty to each other as the earth died screaming.

But as most normal people slept soundly on a Thursday night because their boss is making them give a presentation at the ass-crack of dawn on the other side of the city in a Hampton Inn conference room about leadership paradigms or some other business-school malarkey, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, California served up a reminder that, hey, other teams got it rough, too.

It appeared the Twins were going to waste a Miguel Sano dong, a triple play, Rod Carew in the booth with dickandbert, and a promising Adalberto Mejia start because they could neither figure out one of their ex-top prospects (Alex Meyer) nor keep a We Fest middle-of-the-bill performer (Kole Calhoun) from hitting solo home runs.

But as the cliche I just made up goes, that is why baseball games are nine innings long when the score isn’t tied.

With the Angels clinging to a 2-1 lead, they did the following things that are hauntingly familiar to anyone who watched even a smidge of Twins baseball during their 4-game skid:

• A backbreaking error on a catchable pop fly.
• A bases-loaded walk by the team’s closer.
• A crucial base hit surrendered to a player batting .216

To heighten the weirdness of the whole thing, Brandon Kintzler kicked his Eddie Guardado-ness for one night by pitching a 1-2-3 ninth inning. (He did go 3-0 on the first hitter, because you can’t go cold turkey.)

In conclusion, baseball is a land of contrasts, and sometimes the other team is dealing with its own bullshit, too.