Indians 8, Twins 1: Barto-oh, oh...oh no

Look. I have some bad news. You should sit down. You know how some things are described as win-win? Well this is win-win if both wins are Cleveland’s. Metaphorical wins, they don’t get two actual baseball wins.

Though the Twins scored first thanks to Byron Buxton singling in Eddie Rosario in the second, and although Bartolo Colon managed to load the bases in the 2nd with no outs and then get out of it through sheer sexy magic, there wasn’t much good to speak of.

The Indians hit Bartolo Colon’s 87 MPH fastball as if it was an 87 MPH fastball. The dongs were out in force. Like a gaggle, a whole gaggle of dongs. Carlos Santana, Jason Kipnis and Edwin Encarnacion all hit solo bombs at various times off the big old man. In the 7th Austin Jackson hit the three run variant off of his new best buddy, Buddy Boshers. Carlos Santana hit a two run dinger in the 9th off of Dietrech Enns, making me have to come back and edit this paragraph that I had already written in the 7th. Dammit, Carlos.

Everyone cried. Twins lose. We’ll get them tomorrow!

Oh, also Miguel Sano made one of the best plays I’ve ever seen a third basemen make. I can’t embed MLB video still, but CLICK THIS. You seriously need to see this throw!

STUDS: NO STUDS TWINS LOSE (I’m trying to start a new trend where I get to be lazy during losses too.)

DUDS: Bartolo, Pretty much the entire offense.

ROBUTT ROLL CALL!

Have a good applicable time-span!