First Pitch: 12:10 PM CT TV: FSNRadio: GO 96.3, TIBN Know Your Enemy: Let's Go Tribe Weather: Cloudy, 66°F, Wind NW 16
Where: Caribou Coffee Grounds
Bullwinkle J. Moose: Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!
Rocket "Rocky" J. Squirrel: Again?
BJM: Nothing up my sleeve... Presto!
[Bullwinkle reaches into hat and pulls out a roaring lion's head]
Pitching for the Twins today will be Jose Berrios (RHP, 10-5, 4.27 ERA). "La MaKina" " Orlandito" (which means "Little Orlando" or "little famous land" from what I can determine. Why he changed it, I don't know. That's nobody's business but Jose's) has struggled of late, giving up five runs in the first inning of his last two starts. Kind of hard to wins games when you spot your opponent five runs. He also only managed a total of 8.1 IP in those two games and has an ERA of 7.04 for the month of August so far. The last time Berrios faced Indians' bats he pitched 7.2 innings, holding them to one earned run on two hits and a walk. Of course, that was in May and Berrios had an ERA of 1.17 back then. So chrome. If the Twins are to make a run for the division title or a Wild Card spot, Berrios pitching well is a key component regardless of whether they're buyers, sellers, or bellyers. Pitching for the other side will be Mike Clevinger (RHP, 6-4, 3.67 ERA). Mike "The Slack-Jawed Yokel" is another pitcher who seems to have an evil twin that sometimes locks him in a trunk before games. In his last game, he shut out the Rays for seven innings striking out nine in the process, while only giving up four hits and a walk. In his previous two starts he only lasted four innings against Boston and 3.1 innings against the Angels, surrendering five runs in each of those games. I've got some duct tape if you need it, Mike's evil twin.
BJM: No doubt about it. I gotta get another hat.
RJS: And now here's something we hope you'll really like!
Carlos Carrasco is among Cleveland's seemingly limitless supply of pitchers who are better than anyone the Twins have. He's certainly better than Kyle Gibson. But, hey, that's why they play the games, as the saying goes. (They actually play them for money, as is the case with most things.) Carrasco throws the usual four pitches, with a fastball that averages 94, and a barely-slower sinker which is his most effective tool.
Carlos 'The Rascal" pitched eight innings against the Rays in his last start, allowing two hits while striking out 10. In his last outing, Kyle "Gibby" Gibson couldn't get out of the 5th inning. Edwin Encarnacion has tagged Gibby for two dingers this season. Seriously, we should have signed him as a FA when we had the chance. All the HRs at Target Field alone has got to be worth a bunch of wins right there.
- Here's Tom Powers, now formerly of the Pioneer Press, having a meltdown. City Pages
Song of the ^half Day:
Cleveland's Rocket From the Tombs - "Never Gonna Kill Myself Again." Astute listeners will recognize this tune as The Dead Boys' (RFTT's reanimated corpse) anti-faux vegan song "Caught With the Meat in Your Mouth."
|CLEVELAND INDIANS||MINNESOTA TWINS|
|Ba'al the Eater of Souls - SS||Doz - 2B|
|Jason Kipnis - 2B||Baron Max von Kepler - RF|
|Jose Ramirez - 3B||Sexx Dragon - 1B|
|Edwin Encarnacion - DH||Sanoplow - 3B|
|Jay Bruce - RF||Eddie "the Ready" Rosario - LF|
|Carlos Santana - 1B||Escoobie-Do - DH|
|Brandon "Le Cheese" Guyere - LF||Byron "Must-C Catch" Buxton - CF|
|Bradley Zimmer - CF||Ker-Plunk-o - SS|
|Yan Gomes - C||Ca$h-'Stro - C|
|Carlos Carrasco - RHP||The Gibber - RHP|