Long long ago (minutes) in a land far away (from some of you, presumably) there was a young man named Kyle Gibson. He wished to be a great baseball pitcher, but kept giving up all of the hits. “Do not give up all of the hits, Kyle.” Said some guy, illustrating this point. “Okay.” Said Kyle, not yet knowing how to do that.
So Kyle went on a long quest to find the wise monk who trained beneath the waterfall at the end of the rainbow. The monk gave him a magical ball, forged by Egyptian smiths under a blue moon. Then, with the slightest of smiles he whispered a few words into Kyle’s ear.
“Just load the bases and then strike them all out.”
Kyle’s mouth fell agape. He had stared and into the abyss and the abyss gave him a wink.
“It was right in front of me all along.”
EGREGIOUSLY OBNOXIOUS INTRO OVER
Gibson gave up a run earlier by going straight to the wild wild pitch, starring Will Smith. In the 2nd he loaded the bases with one out and it seemed like it was going to be a long day of THAT Kyle Gibson. Instead he struck out some guy named Adam Engel, and then got Leury Garcia to end the inning with a groundout.
In the 3rd, he allowed a double, single and walk to start the inning and then just struck out the side. Just flawless execution of this hot new strategy. Gibson then went on until the 8th, pitching actually good baseball instead of magically happy acrobatic tight-rope cartwheels baseball.
On the Twins side of the bat, smashing
dongs dingers was once again the meat of the damage. Jorge Polanco who is H-O-T-T- (The extra T is for extra talent) hot, hit a solo homerun in the 4th. Kennys Vargas added one in the 5th, trying to stick for what I think is his 489th chance with the big league team. Eddie Rosario hit one in the 6th with Joe Mauer on for the last of the Twins runs.
Old friend Mike Pelfrey pitched the 8th and 9th for the White Sox, who he apparently plays for now. He still looks like a giant horse person, so that’s neat. Trevor Hilldenberger pitched a 1-2-3 8th, while Matt Belisle faced only 3 men in the 9th thanks to a double play.
The Twins rise to 65-50 while the White Sox fall to, holy crap, 48-76. Oh the poor fools. I can’t even IMAGINE following a team that bad.
Kyle Gibson: Strategic pioneer and major league pitcher
Those guys that I said homered earlier: You know the ones.
Hilldenboiga and Belyle: Quick 8th and 9th so I can sleep earlier.
MIKE PELFREY: FUTURE WHITE SOX BULLPEN ACE???????
NO DUDS TWINS WIN
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Thanks to TeamCrazyMatt for commenting more than me, because I always feel bad when I comment the most. kenzertz wins comment man of the few hours for his dramatic role in the love-triangle subplot. Expect his thank you speech soon!