When the Twins take the field against the Toronto Blue Jays this weekend, there will be some different names on the backs of most of the players jerseys. MLB is having a super awesome thing called Players Weekend where the jerseys will have alternate colors and players can have darn near whatever they want on the backs of their jerseys.
A few weeks back MLB released the jerseys and names that each team will have, but didn't give any translations, explanations, or meanings behind the nicknames. Some of them make sense to common fans like you and I, but some are more mysterious. Fortunately, I have access to Google translate, Wikipedia, and an incredible ability to bullshit when I don't know what something means.
With that in mind, let's take a look at some Twins players' self-chosen nicknames and what they mean.
Miguel Sano: "Boqueton" — Spanish essentially for "Big Mouth"
This one's easy. Miguel Sano talks a lot. He is always talking. Never stops. Every time he exhales he's talking. Now that he’s on the DL he’s probably talking even more.
Eduardo Escobar: "El De La Pica" — Spanish for "The one of the pike"
Escobar is a master of using the early Middle Age spear weapon. In the off season he travels to dozens of Minnesota Lakes fishing in his own unique style of spear fishing, even when the bodies of water are iced over.
Jorge Polanco: "Chulo" — Spanish for "Pimp"
...Oh man I am not touching this one. What the heck, Google translate?
Adalberto Mejia: "Volador" — Spanish for "Flying"
Mejia owns his own helicopter which he takes to and from Target Field every day. If it were up to him, he wouldn't walk or drive anywhere. He is happiest when he is amongst the clouds.
Joe Mauer: "Mauer" — German for "Wall"
Not many people know that Mauer is an avid sumo wrestling fan. He knows the sport inside and out. No one in the Twins clubhouse has ever been able to knock him over, giving him the German nickname, Mauer.
Brian Dozier: "Doz" — Turkish for "Dose"
Dozier smashes baseballs. The man is incredibly strong. He is probably the most powerful being in the universe, but he must only use a small amount of his power in the game or else it would be unfair to the other players and could possibly destroy the space-time continuum. He only uses a small dose of his power. Hence, the Turkish word "doz."
Jason Castro: "Stro" — Dutch for "Straw"
Castro does not consume any liquids unless he is able to use a straw. Bottle of crisp refreshing Coca-Cola? Straw. An ice-cold Coors Lite? Straw. Maple syrup after eating some pancakes? Somehow also a straw.
Phil Hughes: "Peej" — Hmong for "Anyway"
This one I had to dig deep for. According to Wikipedia, the Hmong is an ethnic group from the mountainous regions of southern China, Vietnam, Laos, Myanmar, and Thailand. The largest Hmong-American community in the United States is in... none other than St. Paul, Minnesota. I postulate that some night, Hughes became dangerously lost in the St. Paul streets and stumbled upon a couple of Hmong-Americans and distressingly interrupted their conversation asking for help. One of the Hmong-Americans, probably extremely confused, possibly said to his friend, "Peej..."/"Anyways...". Hughes eventually found his way home but never forgot the one word of help from the Hmong-American he did not know.
Well, that’s enough from me. What do you think about players weekend and the silly jersey names?