Big Game James was more of a Big Lame James (this joke took me 40 hours to perfect, it is highly original do not use it without my permission.) against the Twins today, while Ervin Santana was extremely solid.
The Twins pierced James Shields’ game shield quickly in the 1st when Eddie Rosario fielder’s choiced a run in, advanced to 2nd on a wild pitch and then scored when Byron Buxton singled.
In the 3rd Jorge “Double Dongs” Polanco hit a solo dinger to right, while batting from the left side. This is important later so stow it away in your mind warehouse. In the 4th Eduardo Escobar added a run when he singled in Max Kepler.
Ervin Santana finally gave up a run in the 6th by letting Avisail Garcia hit an RBI double. However, the Twins small balled that run back in the bottom of that same inning. Kepler lead off with a double, moved to 3rd on a Kennys Vargas groundout, and scored on an Escobar sac fly. Tom Kelly would be proud!
As it often does, the 7th came after the 6th. Tim Anderson lead off with a double off of Ervin Santana, who then hit the next batter for good luck. After a groundout moved Anderson to 3rd, Yolmer Sanchez scored him with a sac fly. Trevor Hildenberger came in to face Jose Abreu. Abreu popped up to shallow center, but unfortunately the ball landed in the middle of, I think, every single player on the field, forcing Hildyboiga to try and play second basemen. Turns out he forgot how to catch a ball and than keep it caught, so Abreu took second base. It all looked real silly and Tom Kelly would not be proud.
In the Twins half of the inning, Polanco hit ANOTHER homer. If you’ll look back and see what side of the plate he hit his last one from, it wasn’t that one. Polanco joins a small group of Twins hitters to pull the feat of hitting a HR from each side of the plate in a single game!
Matt Belisle came in for the 9th (the 8th was boring.) and quickly induced a pair of ground-outs. In classic Twins closer fashion, he then walked a guy, let him take second, and then let him score when Abreu hit another single. Fortunately he then remembered the objective of the game is to get people out. Avisail Garcia struck out to end the game. TWINS WIN!
The Twins are now 68-63, while the White Sox are some other record that is bad.
Jorge Polanco best Polanco
Trevor Hildenberger: 4 Ks in 1.1 innings.
NAY TO DUDS, THINE TWINS WINNETH THY MATCH
|7||less cowbell, more 'neau||29|
|8||Can't Read Good||25|
I hope you all had a nice Nation Be Mean to James Fillmore day! I really am down on my own recaps lately, because they all feel too similar. Thus I am declaring next month Gimmick Recap Month, where I will do really really dumb, but at least somewhat original things for each recap. Or at least one of them, if I don’t come up with anymore ideas. So fair warning to avoid those if you dislike wanton stupidity!