Game CVI: Twins vs Rangers

I saw the best Twins in a generation destroyed by blandness, battling dysfunctional tailless,

dragging themselves through the DFA dumpsters at deadline looking for an angry fix,

TC-headed hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the bubbly rains of starry Teflon nights...*

Now that the Twins have "flipped" this season to the future, future, future, we no longer have to deal with the dizzying highs and rock-bottom lows of a pennant chase. We can now just enjoy the mind oatmeal of mediocrity and meaningless baseball as we play out the string of remaining games for the next two months. Welcome back apathy, my old friend. I've missed you.

With A and AA level acquisitions, there's not much there to build for next year, barring some Nik Turley type situation. My inner Lewis Black tells me the Boy Wonders are going to half-ass it next year since they couldn't get the deals they wanted for Ervin and The Doze. But my inner Amy Poehler tells me they could still make some major moves for 2018 and beyond this winter, and my inner Phyllis from The Office tells me I'm going to miss the Twins once October rolls around, so buck up and enjoy the games while I can.

At least the Rangers are also sellers, having just dealt Yu Darvish, and so A.J. Griffin (RHP, 4-2, 5.77 ERA) will hurl cowhide for them today. A griffin is a mythical creature "with the body, tail, and back legs of a lion; the head and wings of an eagle; and an eagle's talons as its front feet." AJ on the other hand has been on the DL since May with a "strained" intercostal and this is his first game back in the Majors.

Pitching for Your Minnesota Twins will be hey, hey, hey! It's Adalberto Mejia (LHP, 4-4, 4.07 ERA)! In his last outing, Mejia pitched 5.0 innings against the A's juggernaut giving up two earned runs on eight hits and two walks with two strikeouts.