Although the Brewers struck first on a well placed RBI bunt single by Keon Broxton in the second, this game would be in control of the Twins for the lion’s share of the game. Max Kepler brought the lead back to the Twins in the 3rd with a two-run dong. Little could he have known that this dong was the patient zero. The dongs are contagious. Ladies and gentlemen, please stay indoors. I repeat: The dongs. Are. Contagious.
After giving up a single and throwing a wild pitch in the fourth, Twins starter Adalberto Mejia would be pulled from the game experiencing arm pain. Hopefully it is nothing serious as the Twins need every remotely capable starter they can get. Tyler Duffy inherited the jam and allowed three men to touch his home plate. I wasn’t even going for innuendo there, but I guess it works. Man, I’m good at this!
No one remembers that though, because the Twins half of the fourth inning was an absolute monster. Eddie Rosario started the scoring with a solo bomb. Then Byron Buxton singled and Jason Castro and Jorge Polanco drew back-to-back walks. To the plate came noted dong-enthusiast Brian Dozier to face ex-Twin Matt Garza. Dozier proceeded to smash the crap out of the first pitch he saw and unceremoniously deposit it into the right field seats for the Twin’s first grand-dong of the year!
Brian Dozier with an opposite field for a grand slam pic.twitter.com/21JoIPt5M9— That Dude (@cjzer0) August 9, 2017
Props to some guy on Twitter for the video. Please don’t murder me for embedding this.
Not to be outshone by those glorious back-to-back walks, Max Kepler followed Dozier with a convincing solo blast for his second homer of the day, causing Tawnies everywhere to swoon.
Whilst Dillon Gee did the shutdown longman routine, the Twins kept padding the lead. In the 5th Eddie Rosario doubled his fun by stroking a second solo dong. This would be the first time the Twins had two players with multi-homer days in the same game since 2011 when Michael Cuddyer and Delmon Young did the dirty deeds.
Dozier doubled in some runs here and Polanco tripled in some more there. 11-4 Twinkies. Gee Gee Gee Gee, baby, baby, baby came back in for the 9th and got the rare 4 inning save. Also the rare 11-4 save (It was a save situation when he first came in.)
So that was cool. Twins move to one game under .500 with a 55-56 record, and gain some ground in the wild-card race as everyone but the Indians lose, apparently.
Dozier, Kepler, Rosario: Dong Trio with a trio of hits each.
Gee: Sweet relief.
Robbie Grossman: 0 outta 4
|4||Can't Read Good||21|
|7||less cowbell, more 'neau||15|
|14||Pau from the sky-tinted water||7|
Have a nice thing! See you at time!