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Yankees 5, Twins 2: In play, out(s)

You can’t spell “Twins” without “Win.” Unfortunately that factoid is irrelevant tonight.

Minnesota Twins v New York Yankees
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Photo by Adam Hunger/Getty Images

The Twins were winning at one point, but I honestly forgot how that happened because this game was 48 hours long, not including the one hour rain delay to start the game. Thanks Yankees!

Let’s check here. It seems the Twins started the game with 3 singles and then Eduardo Escobar double played in a run. That sounds pretty Twinsy. Jose Berrios did not have his control undies on today, so in the second he walked two men, allowing Brett Gardner to double in a run to tie the game.

So Max Kepler just hit a dong off of C.C Sabathia to start the next inning. His first HR off a lefty this year, so at least he might feel good about today! In the 4th, Brett Gardner did some more bullshit to tie the game, taking Berrios out of the game. Alan Busenitz came in to face Aaron Judge and promptly threw a wild pitch because that’s what you do. Judge got a sac fly before the inning ended, giving New York the lead, which they would never give back.

Dillon Gee pitched the next inning for the Twins, and with two on and two out, walked he walked Todd Frazier to load the bases.

Yep. Nothing wrong with those last two strike calls. So Buddy Boshers came in and induced a grounder to first base off the bat of Greg Bird (CACAAAWW) but perfect gold glove first baseman Joe Mauer booted it. Because Yankees.

The Yankees scored some more runs in the next two innings, but I had stopped paying attention and was instead thinking about Dino-Riders.

So Rad

Holy shit that’s hella rad.

So the Twins lose, but luckily the land of Cleve is currently beating the Angels. Let’s hope that doesn’t change! Don’t feel too bad though, I have it on good authority that Yankee fans smell like poopbutts. So moral high-ground for us!

Kepler: Dongtime
Gabriel Moya: An entire scoreless inning against the Yankees?!!!!!

Berrios: Ultra short start. All of the walks.
Escobar: 0 for 4, 4 runners left on.

Hurry up and roll my call so I can go to bed!

# Commenter # Comments
1 James Fillmore 80
2 Cbrolin 63
3 TawnyFroggy 31
4 TwinsDingers 29
5 Bb_referee 26
6 gintzer 25
7 Bat-Boy 25
8 SooFoo Fan 22
9 less cowbell, more 'neau 22
10 TJ Gorsegner 21
11 Can't Read Good 20
12 wayback 15
13 Joel Hernandez 14
14 The GIF Oracle 11
15 MNWildcat 9
16 TeamCrazyMatt 5
17 Gunnarthor 3
18 Riley Feldmann 2
19 GophNYC 1
20 mefoolonhill 1
21 Daniel Carlson 1
22 Brandon Brooks 1
# Recs Commenter Comment Link
6 MNWildcat [no title]
6 James Fillmore It unlocks a cheat code
6 TawnyFroggy As a witch, this "melts in the rain" stereotype offends me.
4 Joel Hernandez Why does everybody say hi so much?
3 less cowbell, more 'neau Then the rain stopped
3 TJ Gorsegner Its a .GIF and it jiggles...
3 The GIF Oracle [no title]
3 TawnyFroggy God I hate the Yankees.
3 Bat-Boy I can't imagine how the Yankees are so popular if all of their games are this boring
3 MNWildcat I'm sure there could be nothing maddening
2 Cbrolin this is why you start Kepler against lefties
2 TawnyFroggy If It wasn't my day to recap I would stop watching this.
2 wayback Goodnight Moon
2 Bb_referee Bartolo!
2 less cowbell, more 'neau Don't be a frog blocker
2 Cbrolin 42
2 gintzer Signing off for the night. Watching the game now on FSGO app so will probably fall asleep before game is over.
2 TawnyFroggy Shh, don't tell him the secret to my success.
2 TwinsDingers Tonight the single season mlb homerun record will be broke
2 Riley Feldmann As a native of the Milwaukee-area
2 less cowbell, more 'neau Really
2 wayback Oh, Blame Mauer Bot is going to have a field day
2 TawnyFroggy Robot umps when
2 TJ Gorsegner Slutty
2 James Fillmore Berrios walking 100 guys
2 TeamCrazyMatt Alternately,
2 Can't Read Good Oh, that's how! Good for Johnny Curtiss pitching his first real big league inning.
2 TJ Gorsegner Alternatively: the Yankees are made out of sugar
2 The GIF Oracle [no title]
2 SooFoo Fan Hi just popping my head in here and- ow god damn it
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Pitching, pitching, schmitching
1 Daniel Carlson Hi
1 Cbrolin hopefully you're the good luck charm that this team needs
1 Cbrolin this strike zone is so small
1 gintzer Drat
1 Cbrolin kickball and four square were my school's biggest things
1 Bat-Boy We just played in the grass
1 James Fillmore We played tackle football during recess when I was a kid
1 James Fillmore Four square!
1 gintzer Molly made a good decision.
1 wayback Bob Newhart had a great sketch about that
1 TawnyFroggy I told my friend "I'm so happy the game starts at 6 today so I can still go to bed at my normal time!"
1 TeamCrazyMatt Oracle GIF actually provides a directly relevant GIF
1 James Fillmore Gibson isn't pitching
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Good Jamesnight
1 Cbrolin catchers are allowed to hit?
1 Cbrolin I think the Yankees deflated the balls
1 Can't Read Good [no title]
1 Can't Read Good By "We all see it coming." you mean
1 Bat-Boy I don't blame you
1 Bat-Boy Joe Mauer used to be a hitting catcher
1 Can't Read Good Pitches 100 yards inside the strike zone are strikeout pitches now for Yankees.
1 Bb_referee It's probably still cheaper than a seat at a Vikings game
1 Can't Read Good Seems so aggressive to offer the entire package of game through the world series up front.
1 Can't Read Good I'm gonna tell you something. This playoff race puts me in the unenviable position of having to cheer against Mike Trout.
1 Cbrolin welp
1 Cbrolin just start writing the recap now so you can post it as soon as the final out is recorded
1 TawnyFroggy Please please please please
1 SooFoo Fan Goodnight James
1 SooFoo Fan Goodnight James
1 Cbrolin 1337 2 strike fouls
1 SooFoo Fan Evil ball fools perfect Mauer
1 SooFoo Fan Just keep it at 2
1 James Fillmore That's so Hawk
1 Cbrolin [no title]
1 TawnyFroggy #Regularsidedugly
1 mefoolonhill It is very difficult to be optimistic
1 TawnyFroggy :disappointed:
1 gintzer The Brewers suck, always have and always will.
1 MNWildcat It's been amusing (to me).
1 MNWildcat Plus the old men named Schmitty working on a hot scoop.
1 Joel Hernandez I heard it relates to him not finding a date for the fall dance
1 wayback I rytze gud 4 fud
1 James Fillmore He begoozed a Beguzzer
1 James Fillmore Iambic penta
1 wayback The boring meeting is almost over
1 Cbrolin you'd have to be foolish to NOT burn water
1 James Fillmore As the BAbip giveth, so doth it taketh away
1 TJ Gorsegner I bet half you clowns would burn water
1 James Fillmore That's why TFroggy's so good at phrasing
1 TawnyFroggy I got hired at my local paper when I was 20ish
1 SooFoo Fan Pooping in your hand to say hi is a sign of respect on Mars
1 Joel Hernandez Should I trade Jay Buhner?
1 TJ Gorsegner Go Twins Go
1 TwinsDingers Hi
1 TawnyFroggy Working is overrated
1 TwinsDingers I'm actually going to be leaving about mid way through the game but I thought I should say it now
1 wayback GO TWINS GO
1 James Fillmore Pooping
1 TJ Gorsegner Don't talk about fecal flinging fridays
1 TJ Gorsegner You'll do good at it!
1 James Fillmore Most definitely
1 Cbrolin sources say the Yankees are evil witches
1 MNWildcat God, these ESPN games take FOREVER.
1 James Fillmore Way congrat!
1 Bat-Boy That give it more flavor
1 Cbrolin it's a strategy
1 SooFoo Fan Late comment but WOOO MAX
1 Bat-Boy I just realized I have the channel for the twins game
1 James Fillmore First lefty to dong C.C. this season!
1 gintzer Holy moly. Mickey Lolich pitched 376 innings in 1971.
1 TawnyFroggy Marry me Max
1 TJ Gorsegner Yes, and even more rare that it isn't with White Sox announcers
1 gintzer The smart money is that the Twins will lose tonight by one run.
1 PDXTWIN If you don't know if you got hit, you didn't get hit. Wimp
1 Bat-Boy I used to play Aussie football at recess but it was really a coverup for tackle football
1 Cbrolin Gaelic is awesome
1 Bat-Boy At least it wasn't by a yankee
1 SooFoo Fan Down goes Frazier
1 less cowbell, more 'neau ALL RISE!
1 Joel Hernandez Who buys the pizza
1 gintzer The world revolves around MLB.
1 James Fillmore One gets the sense that if there's some horrible natural disaster in South Dakota
1 James Fillmore Gladden on hurricanes battering Puerto Rico
1 TJ Gorsegner Mastadon milk then
1 James Fillmore Lizards don't lactate
1 gintzer How many people in this world have zero interest in MLB. Billions, right.
1 TwinsDingers very ugly pitch count too
1 gintzer Worst nickname ever!
1 Cbrolin [no title]
1 Joel Hernandez Party at Cbrolin's house!
1 Cbrolin this game is gonna last til midnight.....
1 Bat-Boy It displaced one skin molecule

Hi Joel!