Yankees 5, Twins 2: In play, out(s)

The Twins were winning at one point, but I honestly forgot how that happened because this game was 48 hours long, not including the one hour rain delay to start the game. Thanks Yankees!

Let’s check here. It seems the Twins started the game with 3 singles and then Eduardo Escobar double played in a run. That sounds pretty Twinsy. Jose Berrios did not have his control undies on today, so in the second he walked two men, allowing Brett Gardner to double in a run to tie the game.

So Max Kepler just hit a dong off of C.C Sabathia to start the next inning. His first HR off a lefty this year, so at least he might feel good about today! In the 4th, Brett Gardner did some more bullshit to tie the game, taking Berrios out of the game. Alan Busenitz came in to face Aaron Judge and promptly threw a wild pitch because that’s what you do. Judge got a sac fly before the inning ended, giving New York the lead, which they would never give back.

Dillon Gee pitched the next inning for the Twins, and with two on and two out, walked he walked Todd Frazier to load the bases.

Yep. Nothing wrong with those last two strike calls. So Buddy Boshers came in and induced a grounder to first base off the bat of Greg Bird (CACAAAWW) but perfect gold glove first baseman Joe Mauer booted it. Because Yankees.

The Yankees scored some more runs in the next two innings, but I had stopped paying attention and was instead thinking about Dino-Riders.

Holy shit that’s hella rad.

So the Twins lose, but luckily the land of Cleve is currently beating the Angels. Let’s hope that doesn’t change! Don’t feel too bad though, I have it on good authority that Yankee fans smell like poopbutts. So moral high-ground for us!

STUDS:
Kepler: Dongtime
Gabriel Moya: An entire scoreless inning against the Yankees?!!!!!

DUDS:
Berrios: Ultra short start. All of the walks.
Escobar: 0 for 4, 4 runners left on.

Hurry up and roll my call so I can go to bed!

#	Commenter	# Comments
1	James Fillmore	80
2	Cbrolin	63
3	TawnyFroggy	31
4	TwinsDingers	29
5	Bb_referee	26
6	gintzer	25
7	Bat-Boy	25
8	SooFoo Fan	22
9	less cowbell, more 'neau	22
10	TJ Gorsegner	21
11	Can't Read Good	20
12	wayback	15
13	Joel Hernandez	14
14	The GIF Oracle	11
15	MNWildcat	9
16	TeamCrazyMatt	5
17	Gunnarthor	3
18	Riley Feldmann	2
19	GophNYC	1
20	mefoolonhill	1
21	Daniel Carlson	1
22	Brandon Brooks	1
23	PDXTWIN	1

# Recs	Commenter	Comment Link
6	MNWildcat	[no title]
6	James Fillmore	It unlocks a cheat code
6	TawnyFroggy	As a witch, this "melts in the rain" stereotype offends me.
4	Joel Hernandez	Why does everybody say hi so much?
3	less cowbell, more 'neau	Then the rain stopped
3	TJ Gorsegner	Its a .GIF and it jiggles...
3	The GIF Oracle	[no title]
3	TawnyFroggy	God I hate the Yankees.
3	Bat-Boy	I can't imagine how the Yankees are so popular if all of their games are this boring
3	MNWildcat	I'm sure there could be nothing maddening
2	Cbrolin	this is why you start Kepler against lefties
2	TawnyFroggy	If It wasn't my day to recap I would stop watching this.
2	wayback	Goodnight Moon
2	Bb_referee	Bartolo!
2	less cowbell, more 'neau	Don't be a frog blocker
2	Cbrolin	42
2	gintzer	Signing off for the night. Watching the game now on FSGO app so will probably fall asleep before game is over.
2	TawnyFroggy	Shh, don't tell him the secret to my success.
2	TwinsDingers	Tonight the single season mlb homerun record will be broke
2	Riley Feldmann	As a native of the Milwaukee-area
2	less cowbell, more 'neau	Really
2	wayback	Oh, Blame Mauer Bot is going to have a field day
2	TawnyFroggy	Robot umps when
2	TJ Gorsegner	Slutty
2	James Fillmore	Berrios walking 100 guys
2	TeamCrazyMatt	Alternately,
2	Can't Read Good	Oh, that's how! Good for Johnny Curtiss pitching his first real big league inning.
2	TJ Gorsegner	Alternatively: the Yankees are made out of sugar
2	The GIF Oracle	[no title]
2	SooFoo Fan	Hi just popping my head in here and- ow god damn it
1	less cowbell, more 'neau	Pitching, pitching, schmitching
1	Daniel Carlson	Hi
1	Cbrolin	hopefully you're the good luck charm that this team needs
1	Cbrolin	this strike zone is so small
1	gintzer	Drat
1	Cbrolin	kickball and four square were my school's biggest things
1	Bat-Boy	We just played in the grass
1	James Fillmore	We played tackle football during recess when I was a kid
1	James Fillmore	Four square!
1	gintzer	Molly made a good decision.
1	wayback	Bob Newhart had a great sketch about that
1	TawnyFroggy	I told my friend "I'm so happy the game starts at 6 today so I can still go to bed at my normal time!"
1	TeamCrazyMatt	Oracle GIF actually provides a directly relevant GIF
1	James Fillmore	Gibson isn't pitching
1	less cowbell, more 'neau	Good Jamesnight
1	Cbrolin	catchers are allowed to hit?
1	Cbrolin	I think the Yankees deflated the balls
1	Can't Read Good	[no title]
1	Can't Read Good	By "We all see it coming." you mean
1	Bat-Boy	I don't blame you
1	Bat-Boy	Joe Mauer used to be a hitting catcher
1	Can't Read Good	Pitches 100 yards inside the strike zone are strikeout pitches now for Yankees.
1	Bb_referee	It's probably still cheaper than a seat at a Vikings game
1	Can't Read Good	Seems so aggressive to offer the entire package of game through the world series up front.
1	Can't Read Good	I'm gonna tell you something. This playoff race puts me in the unenviable position of having to cheer against Mike Trout.
1	Cbrolin	welp
1	Cbrolin	just start writing the recap now so you can post it as soon as the final out is recorded
1	TawnyFroggy	Please please please please
1	SooFoo Fan	Goodnight James
1	SooFoo Fan	Goodnight James
1	Cbrolin	1337 2 strike fouls
1	SooFoo Fan	Evil ball fools perfect Mauer
1	SooFoo Fan	Just keep it at 2
1	James Fillmore	That's so Hawk
1	Cbrolin	[no title]
1	TawnyFroggy	#Regularsidedugly
1	SooFoo Fan	FTYITAWAB
1	mefoolonhill	It is very difficult to be optimistic
1	TawnyFroggy
1	gintzer	The Brewers suck, always have and always will.
1	MNWildcat	It's been amusing (to me).
1	MNWildcat	Plus the old men named Schmitty working on a hot scoop.
1	Joel Hernandez	I heard it relates to him not finding a date for the fall dance
1	wayback	I rytze gud 4 fud
1	James Fillmore	He begoozed a Beguzzer
1	James Fillmore	Iambic penta
1	wayback	The boring meeting is almost over
1	Cbrolin	you'd have to be foolish to NOT burn water
1	James Fillmore	As the BAbip giveth, so doth it taketh away
1	TJ Gorsegner	I bet half you clowns would burn water
1	James Fillmore	That's why TFroggy's so good at phrasing
1	TawnyFroggy	I got hired at my local paper when I was 20ish
1	SooFoo Fan	Pooping in your hand to say hi is a sign of respect on Mars
1	Joel Hernandez	Should I trade Jay Buhner?
1	TJ Gorsegner	Go Twins Go
1	TwinsDingers	Hi
1	TawnyFroggy	Working is overrated
1	TwinsDingers	I'm actually going to be leaving about mid way through the game but I thought I should say it now
1	wayback	GO TWINS GO
1	James Fillmore	Pooping
1	TJ Gorsegner	Don't talk about fecal flinging fridays
1	TJ Gorsegner	You'll do good at it!
1	James Fillmore	Most definitely
1	Cbrolin	sources say the Yankees are evil witches
1	MNWildcat	God, these ESPN games take FOREVER.
1	James Fillmore	Way congrat!
1	Bat-Boy	That give it more flavor
1	Cbrolin	it's a strategy
1	SooFoo Fan	Late comment but WOOO MAX
1	Bat-Boy	I just realized I have the channel for the twins game
1	James Fillmore	First lefty to dong C.C. this season!
1	gintzer	Holy moly. Mickey Lolich pitched 376 innings in 1971.
1	TawnyFroggy	Marry me Max
1	TJ Gorsegner	Yes, and even more rare that it isn't with White Sox announcers
1	gintzer	The smart money is that the Twins will lose tonight by one run.
1	PDXTWIN	If you don't know if you got hit, you didn't get hit. Wimp
1	Bat-Boy	I used to play Aussie football at recess but it was really a coverup for tackle football
1	Cbrolin	Gaelic is awesome
1	Bat-Boy	At least it wasn't by a yankee
1	SooFoo Fan	Down goes Frazier
1	less cowbell, more 'neau	ALL RISE!
1	Joel Hernandez	Who buys the pizza
1	gintzer	The world revolves around MLB.
1	James Fillmore	One gets the sense that if there's some horrible natural disaster in South Dakota
1	James Fillmore	Gladden on hurricanes battering Puerto Rico
1	TJ Gorsegner	Mastadon milk then
1	James Fillmore	Lizards don't lactate
1	gintzer	How many people in this world have zero interest in MLB. Billions, right.
1	TwinsDingers	very ugly pitch count too
1	gintzer	Worst nickname ever!
1	Cbrolin	[no title]
1	Joel Hernandez	Party at Cbrolin's house!
1	Cbrolin	this game is gonna last til midnight.....
1	Bat-Boy	It displaced one skin molecule

Hi Joel!