Monday Morning Macaroni Minnesota: Escobar strong, Mauer mean, Yankees make me unhappy

Hey guys, I’m the girl with the links. I can hook you up!

• With Miguel Sano being injured for the rest of time, Eduardo Escobar has stepped up and smashed a lot of dongs as his replacement. So many dongs, that even Escobar himself is surprised.
• If you missed it: Joe Mauer, noted meanie-pants, destroyed a pitcher’s leg. He did this presumable to teach him to drink more milk to strengthen those bones.
• The Twins are 33-89 against the Yankees since 2002 which shows that what I thought might be confirmation bias was actually real tangible sadness. Watch the Giambi walk-off grand slam if you feel like suicide today!

I’m getting to upset, so I’m going to play some music that soothes my angry soul.

• Michael Hattery writing for fangraphs looks at how raising minor leaguer pay might benefit teams from a player development standpoint. In somewhat related news: I apparently have a really hard time remembering how to spell “Michael.”

Unrelated:

I still can’t decide what is better and I’ve spent an unreal amount of time thinking about it. THANKS JOE.