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Twins 8, Indians 6: The Twins are going to win the World Series

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Brain Dozier and every member of the bullpen forever lead the Twins to a win.

MLB: Minnesota Twins at Cleveland Indians
Not Pictured: Duds
David Richard-USA TODAY Sports

It isn’t every day your starter (Bubbly Bartolo in this instance) goes one inning and you need 10 pitchers to get through 9. It is even less every day when those things happen and you end you are smiling, but that is exactly what went down.

In the 1st the Twins scored 2, including an Eddie Rosario solo dong. Unfortunately Bartolo Colon and the tribe’s Edwin Encarnacion conspired to let him knock in 2 runs for Cleveland in the bottom of said inning. Bartolo would never be seen again due to “illness.”

Rosario wanted nothing to do with this “tie game” bullshit so in the 3rd he doubled in two runs. Unfortunately Tyler Duffy was secretly in on the big Colon-Encarnacion plot, leading audiences everywhere gasping. Encarnacion drove another run in, and Jay Bruce did the same.

The game stayed even until the 6th when Jason Kipnis scored on a sac-fly off the bat of Francisco Lindor. In the 7th, enemy agent Encarnacion smashed a solo homer because he’s a big meanie.

Everyone in Minnesota felt deflated. The Twins were going to lose. They were going to lose every game ever from now on. This was life now.

“Hush, child.” A calm voice whispered. “Brian Dozier is going to make everything alright.”

So he went and hit a 3 run donga-longa-ding-dong in the 8th to reclaim the lead. Byron Buxton drove in Max Kepler in the 9th off of old-friend and mathelete, Craig Breslow, to pad the lead. Matt Belisle wouldn’t need it however, pitching 1-2-3 ninth for the save. The Twins somehow beat the scorching hot Indians and shrink their magic number to 1. If the Angels lose, which it does not look like they will, The Twins will clinch. Otherwise there is always tomorrow. Well, until midnight, I guess. Then there is always today!

NOTES:

  • This was a new team record for pitchers used in a 9 inning game, so thanks Bartolo?
  • Buxton set a team record for consecutive successful steals after swiping his 23rd in a row today.
  • He also did this.

STUDS: Dozier, Rosario, Buxton

DUDS: The White Sox who are currently getting blasted by the Angels.

ROBOT ROLLCALL

# Commenter # Comments
1 NoahRJ 94
2 Cbrolin 78
3 SooFoo Fan 68
4 less cowbell, more 'neau 64
5 gintzer 54
6 TJ Gorsegner 49
7 CG19 46
8 Devereaux 41
9 DBTwinsfan 32
10 Coach Farmer 31
11 TawnyFroggy 28
12 James Fillmore 27
13 wayback 25
14 doomsdayshark 20
15 Joel Hernandez 18
16 ancestral 17
17 Daniel Carlson 9
18 Hayden A 8
19 Brandon Brooks 8
20 Sportsavenue 7
21 Asthix 6
22 Bb_referee 3
23 Dharma_and_Greg#1Fan 2
24 mefoolonhill 2
25 Bat-Boy 2
26 That'sWhatSheSaid 1
27 TeamCrazyMatt 1
28 MNWildcat 1
29 NJG319 1
30 Imakesandwichesforaliving 1
# Recs Commenter Comment Link
10 Cbrolin [no title]
7 Hayden A MAGIC NUMBER 2
7 wayback If it is digestive problems, the headline is "Colon KOs Colon"
7 NoahRJ Who's hot?
7 gintzer It's gonna be a bright, bright, bright, bright sunshiney day!!
7 TJ Gorsegner Rockies-Twins is my dream
6 less cowbell, more 'neau It usually goes like this
6 DBTwinsfan One morre HR for Kepler and the Twins will have 5 guys with 20 or more HRs!
6 gintzer Hey buddy, hang in there. Blessings to you.
6 NoahRJ Shouldn't have eaten that bear.
6 James Fillmore I don't speak fWAR
6 less cowbell, more 'neau //Funky jazz baseline
6 CG19 Tigers
6 TawnyFroggy Good for you!
6 wayback HEADLINE: "Twins manager released while team wins World Series game seven"
6 NoahRJ Who doesn't love ol' Dick?
6 Asthix Atteberry:
5 TJ Gorsegner was?
5 Cbrolin hope you can fight through it!
5 less cowbell, more 'neau A degree in Windows 98 won't get you very far I'm afraid
5 Cbrolin I heard that if you have a controlled bullpen fire the bullpen will grow back even better
5 SooFoo Fan Life uh finds a way
5 NoahRJ #nooneexceptMEcaresaboutmyfantasyteam
5 James Fillmore You're "T.J." now
5 CG19 [no title]
5 wayback I for one, am glad we didn't trade Dozier
5 James Fillmore Just because my online name is "Max Fluffer"
5 TawnyFroggy Wait you get to have pizza after sex?
5 James Fillmore If you take the stadium tour
5 NoahRJ (It's Chris Gimenez)
5 NoahRJ ALL RIGHT, HERE GOES: MURDEROUSLY LARGE RALLY THOME
4 Hayden A Yeah.
4 DBTwinsfan it Depends......
4 Cbrolin if that happened the Angels would lose 2 games and clinch our spot for us
4 less cowbell, more 'neau You're not the boss of me
4 Cbrolin I thought he was filming it
4 CG19 My worst nightmare is a Yankees-Red Sox ALCS
4 NoahRJ Wait a minute, that's just like the porno James Fillmore was watching.
4 NJG319 Spoiler alert!
4 Cbrolin [no title]
4 wayback That's very impolite of Mr. Bremer
4 TJ Gorsegner what about GWAR
4 SooFoo Fan and he's all out of gum
4 gintzer Ok, maybe this is the fumes of being so close to the playoffs getting to my brain... I just feel the Twins are going to beat the Yankees in the wild card game and then give the Indians all they can handle in the ALDS.
4 NoahRJ This is a very tense Game One of the ALDS.
4 TawnyFroggy Me too
4 less cowbell, more 'neau He's more into directing
4 doomsdayshark Bears aren't going to eat themselves.
4 TawnyFroggy Eww
4 Joel Hernandez Let it be know SooFoo does not speak for me
4 doomsdayshark Seems legit
4 NoahRJ Yes, me, 4chan-er.
4 TawnyFroggy YOU COULD ALMOST SAY WE ARE TWINS
4 Cbrolin [no title]
4 SooFoo Fan Bless the "hide image" button
4 SooFoo Fan #noonecaresaboutyourfantasyteam
4 SooFoo Fan My minor in underwater basket-weaving
4 less cowbell, more 'neau Ba'al the Eater of Souls
3 doomsdayshark Had a previously scheduled engagement
3 CG19 Too soon
3 TawnyFroggy Oh, Hi Tyler
3 TJ Gorsegner Must be fraternal then
3 TawnyFroggy Not you TJ
3 James Fillmore FIFY
3 TawnyFroggy I was hoping for sabres
3 NoahRJ [no title]
3 TJ Gorsegner Perhaps we should just capture some adorable yet "dangerous" critters, keep them in balls on our belts, and make them fight for us
3 less cowbell, more 'neau Dick'nBert are the Twins
3 Cbrolin [no title]
3 Devereaux Amen
3 Hayden A Anyone want me to post pictures from the pregame ceremony in a fanshot?
3 Cbrolin that's a big Thome
3 Daniel Carlson [no title]
3 Joel Hernandez I'll take "Things you don't want to hear your match on Eharmony to say" for 300 Alex
3 Cbrolin DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
3 NoahRJ DON'T JINX
3 DBTwinsfan What's this 'should we beat New York? No negative waves Moriority!
3 Cbrolin THANK YOU FOR CALLING BUXTON INSURANCE HOW MAY I HELP YOU WIN THIS GAME
3 Devereaux Holy Lord
3 Joel Hernandez Soofoo does not speak for me
3 CG19 Gorg invented the wheel?
3 doomsdayshark I'm going to be very disappointed if I see less than 10 different Twins pitchers' tonight
3 TJ Gorsegner Considering we are at 250+ comments, you all are being REALLY stingy with the green tonight
3 TJ Gorsegner Haven't we already established you all just exist for my entertainment
3 Daniel Carlson Longshot...but Twins/Brewers would be cool
3 DBTwinsfan Careful what you wish for.....we'd probably make him look like Cy Young.....
3 Coach Farmer *opens TT and sees the GT is already at 240+ comments*
3 TawnyFroggy No one is reccing anything because I'm not saying anything funny.
3 James Fillmore Gladden meant to say "no shift"
3 James Fillmore Man
3 TawnyFroggy I now want this too.
3 Cbrolin he's lost his arm strength
3 NoahRJ I'm not your buddy, guy.
3 doomsdayshark Something involving a bear
3 TawnyFroggy Deal
3 Devereaux "Hey hey, come back."
3 MNWildcat I wasn't sure if this was a euphemism.
3 Hayden A Unrelated to pretty much everything having to do with baseball
3 Joel Hernandez Talk him using fangraph stats
3 Cbrolin will it work on the Yankees?
3 TawnyFroggy I'm optimistic about it.
3 gintzer Sorry, forgot it was your world and we all just live in it!
3 gintzer We're going to Sizzler! We're going to Sizzler!!
3 James Fillmore I don't speak Swedish
2 NoahRJ [no title]
2 Coach Farmer "We got a guy there."
2 doomsdayshark Going to get us a lot of bad press
2 Daniel Carlson Only bold comments get recs tonight
2 TJ Gorsegner I really hate that guy, and his overpriced choclates
2 SooFoo Fan A Moynaingful inning
2 TJ Gorsegner damn skippy!
2 SooFoo Fan Buck! Makes it look easy
2 Sportsavenue That was incredible
2 CG19 No, we can't walk any Yankees
2 Cbrolin ah good to know
2 NoahRJ Stupid, sexy Mauer.
2 less cowbell, more 'neau Get it on
2 TJ Gorsegner Jose Berrios begs to differ
2 TJ Gorsegner Og and Gorg are debating over what to call the round thing they just invented to put on their cart
2 less cowbell, more 'neau I hate it when Team Rocket fight each other
2 gintzer I would dig a Dodgers-Yankees World Series. Of course, Dodgers-Twins is the dream matchup.
2 NoahRJ Damn dude.
2 gintzer The Twins are gonna do damage in the playoffs. I am telling ya!
2 NoahRJ Oooof, Joe.
2 wayback I'm back
2 NoahRJ You see, when a man loves a pizza very, very much...
2 Cbrolin [no title]
2 NoahRJ My Thome wasn't big enough.
2 Cbrolin start off exorcising their demons
2 NoahRJ [no title]
2 Cbrolin I'm pretty sure my internet just died
2 SooFoo Fan argumentum ad antiquitatem
2 NoahRJ RALLY THOME
2 NoahRJ All right, it's 0-0.
2 gintzer Jinx, schminx. As Minnesota sports fans we get beaten down so much on a regular basis that it feels good to pound the chest once in a while.
2 Cbrolin or time of game
2 less cowbell, more 'neau Our boys beat the Kaiser and the dreaded Hun in The Great War
2 TJ Gorsegner Unless you go by number of pitchers
2 NoahRJ Rally Tiny Thome!
2 SooFoo Fan Uncouth
2 TJ Gorsegner I generally walk my demon three times a day
2 SooFoo Fan or events that have happened
2 NoahRJ This definitely feels like a playoff game.
2 James Fillmore Can't use "ass" on the Interwebs
2 TJ Gorsegner as are most fans
2 ancestral Damn
2 Cbrolin at first I read Bart as Bert
2 gintzer We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.
2 DBTwinsfan What did you think of 'Straight outta Hennepin'?
2 SooFoo Fan "Yankees, I have come to bargain"
2 Devereaux The cheers for Jay Bruce are making me grateful for the break in Twins "oo" players
2 SooFoo Fan What a night for Eddie Rosario
2 less cowbell, more 'neau "I was watching baseball when a hockey game broke out"
2 Cbrolin Rosie just needs a triple!
2 James Fillmore My wife has been watching ST: TNG nonstop lately
2 TawnyFroggy [no title]
2 TawnyFroggy Now I must defeat TJ in mortal combat
2 Cbrolin [no title]
2 less cowbell, more 'neau Starting in April
2 CG19 And it didn't work
2 gintzer Winning combo.
2 TawnyFroggy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
2 TawnyFroggy That makes you Colon's equal
2 NoahRJ [no title]
2 Joel Hernandez Peter Parker's uncle also died
2 Cbrolin [no title]
2 NoahRJ (But also Colon)
2 SooFoo Fan I'm not starting it
2 less cowbell, more 'neau Brown dog wearing bowler hat drinking coffee
2 James Fillmore Colon's equal is a phrase I never expected to read
2 SooFoo Fan Plot twist: this is the playoffs
2 Brandon Brooks TOLD Y'ALL
2 CG19 I get confused when people abbreviate complete game
2 NoahRJ [no title]
2 James Fillmore Occasionally
2 less cowbell, more 'neau Ba'al cares not for hopes and dreams
2 Cbrolin [no title]
2 NoahRJ Woof.
2 NoahRJ Umm, shows off a lot more what?
2 gintzer It works.
2 TJ Gorsegner I recommend Tums for that
2 DBTwinsfan Radio crew just said that Bart left 'due to illness'.
2 NoahRJ Yeah, has that ever happened?
2 Cbrolin I mean hi!
2 CG19 Yankees-Cubs is my nightmare
2 wayback I know what you mean, good buddy
2 James Fillmore I'm a sentient hologram and proud of it
2 SooFoo Fan Such a cliche division
2 less cowbell, more 'neau Pitching change
2 Sportsavenue I'm sure he was
2 gintzer Bremer is the bane of my existence. So, overall my life isn't so bad.
2 Joel Hernandez You can't just call someone an asshole on the internet
2 CG19 Danny Santana
2 gintzer The World Series is the World Series. It is always great, see: sex and pizza.
1 SooFoo Fan Let me just send that message to him on my carrier pigeon
1 NoahRJ I hear that's the easiest one.
1 Cbrolin winning!
1 SooFoo Fan Aw, hes adorable
1 Cbrolin very much so
1 ancestral BUXTON NEEDS TO MAKE CONTACT
1 gintzer Suck it Indians!
1 CG19 He did that for you
1 Hayden A Does this game feel like a playoff game to anyone else?
1 TawnyFroggy (I go there a lot because it is the only place i can find to talk about obscure retro games)
1 NoahRJ Gotta go fast!
1 gintzer 1-nil
1 wayback quick, get him some popcorn
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Plz don't balk
1 Devereaux Fuck it
1 CG19 That's fine, we'll score more
1 ancestral Indians can’t seem to bunt
1 Coach Farmer Yarp
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Ba'al claims another soul
1 SooFoo Fan Why does their bullpen have to be good
1 SooFoo Fan heh
1 NoahRJ Hey, the Cubs did it.
1 SooFoo Fan This season is an M. Night Shyamalan film.
1 SooFoo Fan Games I used to play
1 NoahRJ It's tacky.
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Gates 6, 29, and 34
1 SooFoo Fan ITS HAPPENING
1 less cowbell, more 'neau So was Abe Lincoln and the Blues Brothers!
1 SooFoo Fan GO TWINS GO!
1 Cbrolin BUX
1 Devereaux Closing time
1 SooFoo Fan Brandon no
1 less cowbell, more 'neau STFD Ba'al
1 NoahRJ All I want for Christmas is a shutdown closer.
1 Brandon Brooks We have it locked right the hell up
1 Brandon Brooks THIS GAME IS ALREDY OVER
1 gintzer Sounds awful - the property tax thing that is and I am a sales tax guy for the State so I know of what I speak.
1 Brandon Brooks GO TWINS GO!!!
1 wayback Amazing catch, late inning RBI, that Buxton is just a showoff
1 SooFoo Fan There's your insurance
1 Coach Farmer LORD BYRON.
1 Dharma_and_Greg#1Fan I can appreciate that
1 SooFoo Fan You know :wink:
1 Cbrolin TWINS WIN MAGIC NUMBER IS 1
1 wayback PROCEED WITH ALACRITY, TWINS
1 ancestral [no title]
1 James Fillmore World ending = approved
1 wayback Love that movie
1 Devereaux Lynx win!
1 Asthix Hey Cleveland.
1 Brandon Brooks Gives me confidence in our performance should we beat New York
1 DBTwinsfan And tonight we will drink with Odin in Valhalla!!
1 NoahRJ WE HAVE DEFEATED THE MIGHTY CLEVE
1 ancestral How many pitchers does it take to defeat the Cleveland Indians?
1 mefoolonhill Great Win.
1 Devereaux Celebrate good times
1 Brandon Brooks Feelin' like a RISKY BISKY TONIGHT
1 TawnyFroggy Kepler is on a mission to prove he can hit lefties
1 Devereaux Yank a dong
1 wayback Just like that
1 SooFoo Fan Please Dozier
1 Cbrolin their magic number is 2, and if it was 1 then they're guaranteed to have a game 163 at the worst
1 less cowbell, more 'neau DOZE-BOMB!!!!!!!
1 Cbrolin DOZIER AGREES
1 Joel Hernandez hi
1 NoahRJ Time to do Big Brain things.
1 NoahRJ Zee Doze, he goes
1 CG19 No matter how well Pressly does, it never lasts long
1 less cowbell, more 'neau At least Bautista and Donaldson aren't up next
1 Coach Farmer Just wait for Allen
1 Imakesandwichesforaliving GO TWINS GO
1 NoahRJ Also, GO TWINS GOOOOO
1 Devereaux Brian F Dozier!
1 TawnyFroggy Oh hey good things
1 James Fillmore It will get better
1 Devereaux I am here with you
1 Cbrolin OLD FRIEND ALERT
1 Devereaux El veterano
1 NoahRJ CRAIIIIIIIG
1 TawnyFroggy Inspiring
1 CG19 Wow, nice catch
1 Devereaux You are not alone
1 Joel Hernandez Just become friends with Max Kepler
1 SooFoo Fan We got Hildenberger and Belisle and Rogers
1 DBTwinsfan Yo Bux!!
1 less cowbell, more 'neau BUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 gintzer Let's go go Po Polanco.
1 TJ Gorsegner The pride of West Peoria, IL.
1 James Fillmore You are not explaining activities I comprehend
1 TJ Gorsegner My, that IS a big, black font
1 TJ Gorsegner that would be a really poopy way to end his career
1 Devereaux If I recall it was a down year statistically
1 James Fillmore Space raccoons
1 Cbrolin we're going for 1000
1 NoahRJ It's a tarp
1 NoahRJ Yeah Joe!
1 Devereaux Spit on it, Joe
1 TawnyFroggy You get it.
1 TJ Gorsegner Up where?
1 NoahRJ DO NOT JINX IT
1 doomsdayshark Gotta think the Twins wanna seal it as quickly as possible
1 James Fillmore Sorry
1 gintzer As much as I agree with you, it is hard to argue that a Yankees-Red Sox ALCS wouldn't be intense and fun.
1 CG19 Since when is Kipnis a center fielder?
1 NoahRJ He has gastrointestinal problems.
1 TJ Gorsegner reported as illness
1 CG19 Just did it
1 TJ Gorsegner I mean, you challenged me to a duel, that made me laugh
1 gintzer I mean at some point the odds have to turn in our favor against the Yankees.
1 NoahRJ Yeah, I think he might win it.
1 TJ Gorsegner Maybe they'll just piss on him, like my dog does to bush out front
1 James Fillmore Indeed
1 Cbrolin ok Bart let's go!
1 NoahRJ Except maybe the median age of the outfield.
1 Devereaux He reached it
1 TJ Gorsegner Too much rest can be bad too, especially if a guy is hot
1 NoahRJ I would.
1 SooFoo Fan I think they just want to win this game
1 TJ Gorsegner I mean, unless its Chicago Deep-dish, they are not technically mutually exclusive activities
1 Devereaux No word
1 less cowbell, more 'neau See Twins, Minnesota, 1987
1 DBTwinsfan Is it considered tacky to DFA somebody during their last start??
1 James Fillmore The Tigres looked absolutely bored and ready for this season to be done
1 TJ Gorsegner Yes?
1 TJ Gorsegner "Its like warm pizza pie"
1 gintzer Word, Wisconsin sucks. It sure would be fun to rub all the noses of those Pukers fans in dog turd when the Twins skunk the Brew Crew in the World Series.
1 gintzer Hand up here.
1 less cowbell, more 'neau After one bad inning?
1 CG19 Plus, no Wisconsin
1 NoahRJ Like the Twins last year?
1 CG19 Bold
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Indians still have a fire in their bellies
1 gintzer Blah. Fat, old guys are yesterday's news.
1 gintzer If going down that road, why not Twins-Brewers? That would make things mighty fun around these parts.
1 Devereaux How is a baseball fan not in love with the run differential stat
1 CG19 That would be fun
1 NoahRJ Well, that's less than ideal.
1 James Fillmore Not if you deeply love companies who treat other workers like ass
1 doomsdayshark Definitely
1 NoahRJ I know who we're not starting in the playoffs.
1 Devereaux We got a man there
1 TJ Gorsegner He's quite possibly managing for his job right now
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Falvine made up his mind last November
1 Daniel Carlson We should all get to choose our own rec color
1 TJ Gorsegner depends on when beer o'clock started for him
1 gintzer The prof is a Twins fan?
1 CG19 Good luck with that
1 less cowbell, more 'neau ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSIE!!!!!!!
1 SooFoo Fan Yess
1 wayback ALL SOCIAL MEDIA AND COMMENT SECTIONS ON THE INTERNET JUST DISAPPEARED
1 Joel Hernandez My thesis class is cancelled next tuesday
1 wayback It's an odd numbered inning, we should score again
1 NoahRJ ROSARIOOOOOOO
1 Cbrolin what's a word?
1 SooFoo Fan The hacker known as 4-chan?
1 Cbrolin [no title]
1 Cbrolin this "Brian" person is kinda good at baseball
1 gintzer Let's induce labor.
1 gintzer Rosie, baby!
1 Cbrolin oh my
1 Coach Farmer Fan of the singularity
1 TawnyFroggy I really want a singularity t-shirt now.
1 SooFoo Fan I knew you'd say that
1 Coach Farmer Wow. Moya in a meaningful inning.
1 Cbrolin Twindians
1 doomsdayshark BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
1 SooFoo Fan TOOTBLAN
1 less cowbell, more 'neau I don't approve of this scorched bulls approach
1 Joel Hernandez I am sexy
1 Cbrolin ROSIE O'DONGER
1 TawnyFroggy I don't feel original, but also yes
1 SooFoo Fan ROSIEEEEE
1 NoahRJ FUcuuuuuuuckckkKKk
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Gross
1 gintzer Esco, yeah
1 TJ Gorsegner I knew a man Boshers and he'd dance for you
1 gintzer Fourth pitcher, Gee whiz.
1 Cbrolin FIRST INNING RALLY
1 Daniel Carlson I hope Chris Gimenez gets the win tonight when we clinch
1 TawnyFroggy All colors are for frogs!
1 TawnyFroggy Green is for frogs!
1 gintzer Stupid baserunning. Gracias, Encarnacion.
1 NoahRJ Even EE!
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Frogs come in all colors of the rainbow
1 TJ Gorsegner Now I've got a hankering for fried frogs legs
1 CG19 Brand new ballgame
1 less cowbell, more 'neau @Nice AB, Buxton@
1 less cowbell, more 'neau Sounds fun, for sure
1 DBTwinsfan Don't mess with Eddie!!
1 ancestral The Twins aren’t that good
1 Daniel Carlson Ji
1 SooFoo Fan Lindor!
1 TawnyFroggy Solid start
1 CG19 Nice, attacking early
1 DBTwinsfan Some fool claims the earth revolves around the sun....
1 Cbrolin not much
1 Daniel Carlson There is a bar called Froggy's in Pine city you should visit sometime
1 gintzer We're gonna win Twins! We're gonna score!!
1 TJ Gorsegner Indians. We know them, and have beaten them
1 Joel Hernandez Moliter is getting frisky

GOODNIGHT