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Monday Morning Minnesota: Everything sucks so let’s reminisce

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And some other things too, I guess.

Boston Red Sox v Minnesota Twins Photo by Hannah Foslien /Getty Images

It’s been a slow news cycle on the Twins front, but as I have endeavored to stay in bed today to avoid seeing out the window and looking at snow, I dug up what I could for you fine, fine folks. Grab a Yoohoo, or whatever it is people drink in the morning, and clickity clackity some linkity lackities.

  • The Twins outrighted Gregorio Petit earlier in the month, in cased you missed the shocking and heartbreaking news I’m sure we all care deeply about. By bWAR Petit has been worth exactly 0.0 wins above replacement during his 197 MLB appearances, thus making him the platonic ideal of the storied “replacement level player.”
  • Hawk Harrelson, the oft maligned former announcer for the Whiter of the Sox, is really grumpy about the firing of Paul Molitor. “There are no baseball experts.” Harrelson claims, apparently finding Baseball to be roughly equal to mummy curses and how the hell the Electoral College works in regards to how well modern science and data can comprehend its inner workings.
  • Former Twin Ryan Pressly’s new hobby is defending domestic abusers. Solid choice there, Ryan. Meanwhile Jose Reyes, a few years removed from a 52 game suspension for violating MLB’s domestic violence policy, was voted by his teammates to be the Mets rep for the Marvin Miller Man of the Year award. Solid choice there, entirety of the Mets. Not at all further proof that humans were a mistake.
  • Cheer up though, me! MLB.com gathered up every teams most memorable post-season moments and watching them all is pretty darned enjoyable.

Hey it’s that part where I embed the music! This week’s song is from Celeste, an extremely good (and hard) game! This soundtrack is one of the two albums I own on vinyl, so I’m super cool.