/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/61832953/1045703008.jpg.0.jpg)
Many names have been floated for the Twins managerial opening. And while there’s been plenty of discussion about in-house candidates like James Rowson or former major leaguers like David Ross and Rocco Baldelli, some other names have received scant attention. Twinkie Town looks at the dark horse candidates and weighs their pros and cons.
NAME: Gritty
CURRENT OCCUPATION: Mascot, Philadelphia Flyers.
PROS: High visibility, very popular on social media, hates birds.
CONS: A monster of unknown provenance. Could also cause friction with longtime Twins mascot TC Bear, who does not appear to be in the running to replace Paul Molitor.
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13297653/1405616.jpg.jpg)
NAME: Sparky Anderson
CURRENT OCCUPATION: Deceased.
PROS: Winner of three World Series, sixth most wins in MLB history.
CONS: Deceased.
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13297679/1047954000.jpg.jpg)
NAME: The floaty tall man in the bowler hat from The Haunting of Hill House
CURRENT OCCUPATION: Terrifying the Crain children, particularly Luke.
PROS: Very tall, can float.
CONS: A spectral nightmare of dread and horror. The Twins already experienced this with Ray Miller.
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13297661/1052226318.jpg.jpg)
NAME: Lady Gaga
CURRENT OCCUPATION: Singer/Actor
PROS: Appears to be good at a lot of things, why not baseball too?
CONS: Rumored to believe that “The Opener” is pettifogging nonsense and prefers to build around workhorse starters and traditional bullpen roles.
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13297667/491338641.jpg.jpg)
NAME: The Endless Shrimp special at participating Red Lobster restaurants
CURRENT OCCUPATION: Providing a dollar/volume value to bottomless American gullets.
PROS: Shrimp is delicious, and the Cheddar Bay biscuits are also unlimited.
CONS: It’s available for a limited time only.
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/13297673/504363256.jpg.jpg)
NAME: The Minnesota Vikings
CURRENT OCCUPATION: 3-2-1, tied for second place in the NFC North.
PROS: SKOL!
CONS: A history littered with postseason failure, plays different sport, can’t fit 53 extra people in a dugout, it would be super crowded with all those big fellas.