17 questions about Twin Peaks for new Twins manager Rocco Baldelli

Lots of relevant, probing questions were asked of new Twins manager Rocco Baldelli during Thursday’s introductory press conference. His thoughts on analytics, “the opener”, whatever Sid’s question was, the whole deal.

No one asked about Twin Peaks.

This would seem to be standard operating procedure, except that Baldelli’s Twitter bio contains a quote from FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper: “I have no idea where this will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange.”

Who gives an entire poop about baseball when you have that to work with? I sure don’t. Here are my questions for Rocco, to answer at his leisure:

1. Who is Judy? There are some theories that the word is actually “Joudy” or “Jowday”, an escaped demon from Sumerian mythology.
2. What year is this? It’s the last thing Cooper says in the final episode. We can surmise that he’s been slipping through timelines and dimensions, but what timeline and dimension is he actually in? Laura’s alive, but she’s not Laura, but SHE KNOWS.
3. Where’s Audrey? Is she in an asylum? Is she being held captive? Is she in the hotel? This really bugs me.
4. Following up on that, who is Billy? She keeps talking about Billy, but no Billy appears.
5. That kid in New Mexico who had the alien bug crawl in her mouth, that was Sarah Palmer right?
6. Speaking of which, holy shit, Episode 8 was bonkers. I realize this isn’t a question, but man that was something, wasn’t it?
7. What was the deal with Ashley Judd’s character? Was she related to someone from the original run, or just there to prove that Benjamin Horne was a changed man? They spent a lot of time on her character if the latter is correct.
8. Did Freddie really destroy BOB? It looked like it, but can BOB even be destroyed?
9. How great was it when the Real Cooper came back at the end? I think I liked that even more than Big Ed and Norma finding happiness.
10. What happened to Chester Desmond?
11. Seriously: How’s Annie?
12. Is Josie Packard still in that drawer knob?
13. Did that specific test of a nuclear bomb bring BOB into our world? Or had the incredible evil of the dawn of the Atomic Age made the world more susceptible to a visit from him?
14. Who are Richard and Linda?
15. Is the Palmer house itself evil, or is that just the effect of having Sarah (and Leland/BOB) in it?
16. Man, Episode 8 was better than most movies I’ve seen. Even the Nine Inch Nails part. Again, not a question, but maaaaaaaaan.
17. When Bobby was talking to that panicked mom in the car and her son was clearly very ill or possessed by...something, that freaked you out too, right?

I have no further questions. Good luck with your new job!