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Joe Mauer thanks everyone in his farewell press conference

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Former players and managers Kent Hrbek, Glen Perkins, Paul Molitor, Ron Gardenhire, and more had lots to say about the Twins legend.

MLB: Chicago White Sox at Minnesota Twins Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

On Monday morning, Joe Mauer held a press conference addressing his official retirement from MLB. It was sad. Mauer spent about the first 15 minutes thanking everyone he’s ever met between sniffles before just opening it up to questions.

If you would like to watch the entire press conference yourself, it’s available here (It’s 35:47 minutes long,FYI):

Some of my initial take-aways from the press conference:

  • Jim Pohlad talked so earnestly bout watching Joe Mauer’s last game.
  • What kind of tie is Joe wearing?
  • Michael Cuddyer said, “I can’t think of someone who better represented his team, community, and city better than Joe Mauer.”
  • Joe has said “um” about 10 times in the first 15 seconds.
  • JOE HAS A STACK OF NOTE CARDS OF EVERYONE HE WANTS TO THANK.
  • Joe is sniffling and trying not the cry.
  • Joe is trying to work through the notecards.
  • “Billy, I’m proud I got to catch you facing your favorite player, David Ortiz, in spring training. Thank you, Gardy, for letting that happen.”
  • SNIFF
  • “WHEEWWW!” (Joe then wipes his eyes with a handkerchief).
  • He’s still going through these note cards.
  • Joe just thanked the Mayo Clinic for taking care of him.
  • JUST BLOW YOUR NOSE JOE. JESUS.
  • Awwww Joe thanked Gardy for everything.
  • Tom Kelly, TK. Goes without saying.
  • Paul Molitor. We’re still just going through people Joe Mauer is thanking.
  • Tony Oliva.
  • Kent Hrbek, Jack Morris, Tim Launder.
  • Glen Perkins
  • Corey Koskie
  • Justin Morneau
  • Terry Ryan (Joe Mauer has to pause, getting visibly emotional)
  • Bill Smith (for, you know, that contract)
  • Jerry Bell
  • Jim Rantz
  • Joe Mauer is a Mayo Clinic boy. This is at least the second time he’s thanked them.
  • “I started thinking seriously about retirement probably after that concussion earlier this year.”
  • When asked about 2006, the first thing Joe references is that is was Brad Radke’s last year. Thank god, Joe, because that is absolutely the first thing I think about that year too. At least I’m not entirely crazy.

There’s so much more, it’s just hard recording everything while you are also trying to take new Kleenex tissues out of the box. They keep ripping in half. Seriously. Can someone please design a quick-release Kleenex box? You would think they would have these by now.

Michael Cuddyer, on how much Joe Mauer meant and represented for his team:

Joe had a lot to say, and a lot of people had a lot of things to say about him to.

Twin Cities native Kent Hrbek was humbled, and perturbed by Joe Mauer’s comments:

Mauer’s former teammate, and fellow Minnesotan — who had a similarly emotional last game at Target Field — Glen Perkins, gave his thoughts:

Former Twins Manager Ron Gardenhire was his usual self, talking about Joe in the upmost of terms:

Fellow Cretin-Derham Hall Alum, Paul Molitor, shared his thoughts as well:

Of course, Terry Ryan — the former Twins GM and current Phillies scout who signed Joe Mauer originally as the first overall pick, right out of high school, in 2001, gave his thoughts:

I mean of course — Justin:

And then there is this. Just this adorable video from Joe himself. He doesn’t know what to say. He admits he doesn’t even know the gender of his incoming baby. You can see Tony Oliva just smiling away in the background... I love it.

God, I will miss you Joe.

P.S.