Not much of anything has happened in the Twinsverse since the Twins salaried up (or not, RIP Robbie) the last of their arbitration eligible players. The Mariners and Mets may already be out making blockbuster trades, but the Twins are standing pat and leaving me with little links to link in this list of links. Here’s a Puckett’s Pond piece (a PPP) stating that concussions, not the Pohlads are the cause of the Twins mediocrity, to which I reply “Why not both?” FiveThirtyEight also had an interesting one showing how teams that devote a large portion of their overall payroll to a single player rarely see major success. Or maybe I’m just trying to lure out the Blame Mauer Bot with this obvious set-up.
So, like roughly 98% of the episodes of Sailor Moon, the rest of this article is going to be finding ways to fill space. Hopefully like the filler episode of Sailor Moon that’s a Gone With the Wind parody about a fat ugly cat named Rhett Butler (who later transforms into a monster because of course he does) this filler will also be good.
Pretend a good transition is here. Here’s some baseball cards I wanted to make fun of but have continuously failed to work into a full piece!
Here we have the less known final evolution of the Staryu-Starmie line of Pokemon, Marty Cordova. I recently got this card among a bunch of cards my mother had collected over the years of her favorites Dan Gladden, Cordova and Brian Harper. I’m not even sure I ever saw any of them play, but I do remember Cordova’s various misadventures of falling asleep in a tanning booth and not realizing he needed a passport to go to Canada even though he had previously played for the Toronto freekin’ Blue Jays.
Here we have FUTURE STAR Steve Searcy whom I neither know nor expect you to know. Double S starred futurely to a tune of a career -2.1 WAR in 5 seasons, but I have it on good authority that he once led his entire school district in Proms-Gone-to-With-Mother (PGtW/M)
Here we have an absolute specimen of a man in Jeff Jones who really pulled off that old A’s raincoat yellow. Having never been alive in the 80’s but having looked at a bunch of baseball cards from then, I have come to the conclusion that 80’s humans were actually an entirely different species of sapiens that we killed off and replaced with android clones who promptly went and got better haircuts. After this photo was taken, Jones would go on to lead the AL in Free Mustache Rides trucker hats owned, a stat that has lost its value since the math nerds ruined baseball.
Today’s soundtrack is the third time I’ve used a version of the Robocop title theme. I just love it that much!